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Introduction

If you haven’t heard, Penn State welcomes its toughest opponent of this year (and seemingly every year) as Ohio State visits Beaver Stadium for a Saturday Gusgasm-filled nooner. The leaf sticker wearers have brandished a lethal offense for close to a decade now. Normally, that potent attack has been complemented by a defense full of future multi-millionaires performing as a cohesive, stubborn unit. I say “normally” because 2020 and 2021 were certainly exceptions to the standard.

Enter Jim Knowles.

The bearded bastion of defense started his career as the DC at Duke from 2010-2017 before moving to OSU-Central (Oklahoma State) from 2018-2021. For various reasons, both of those posts come with a litany of challenges – Duke with its talent deficiencies and Okie State plays in the Big XII (nuf said). And yet, at both spots, Knowles somehow made it work. And though the 2022 season is far from complete, thus far, Knowles has taken Ohio State’s full cupboard of talent and orchestrated a substantial defensive turnaround…evidenced in the various basic and advanced stats we’re about to present.

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Introduction

Being a Penn State fan for the last couple of months has been more emotionally volatile than getting your salary in Bitcoin. After Purdue and Auburn, the team and fanbase was riding a high that cooled a bit after the Central Michigan game. Then we hit the doldrums of the Northwestern hurricane/turnover game where the horrid weather conditions served as the perfect “Yeah, but…” for the Nittany Lions’ lackluster play on the field. Then, Michigan happened…no further context necessary.

Before Saturday’s game against Minnesota both James Franklin and Sean Clifford apparently got booed during video-board pregame introductions. The groans grew louder when Penn State followed two straight 3-and-outs with an interception. Then, the rest of the game played out, and the vibes flipped 180 degrees. 45 points and 4 passing TDs later, the most dangerous four-letter word in the English language, HOPE, has returned to Happy Valley as we welcome Wendy’s spokesman Reggie Bush, Dublin, Ohio barfly Urban Meyer, and Big Ten bully Ohio State to town six days from now. It’s a rollercoaster, man.

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If last week’s game was a visit to the dental surgeon and next Saturday’s game a trip to the proctologist, Penn State’s Homecoming game against Minnesota was a metaphorical flu shot.

Some risk involved, if only a sore arm, but a picnic by comparison to the weeks surrounding it. And perhaps a chance to serve some benefit down the road.

Before one of the larger Beaver Stadium crowds in recent memory, the Nittany Lions broke open what had first appeared to be a close if not fantastically competitive game with an avalanche of second-half touchdowns. The end result meant nothing and it meant everything.

Allow me to elaborate.

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• Prior to tonight, the last time Minnesota backup QB/full bag of Scrabble tiles Athan Kaliakmanis started a football game, THIS was the setting:

Needless to say, to steal a phrase from former Penn State defensive tackle and Friend of the Blog Brandon Noble, THIS (below) was an entirely different animal.

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Preaching to the choir here, but the Penn State Whiteout is truly a sight to behold – as ABC announcer Chris Fowler said a few years ago, an unmatched display of “monochromatic mayhem.”

For us, the festivities begin well before Saturday and extend through the night as evening turns to morning. Like those 1980s Energizer commercials, the party keeps going and going and going…the only interruption occurring around 7:30 p.m. with a 4-hour, 110-decibel intermission.

Of course, the Whiteout isn’t all fun and games, especially for sticky-fingered, sauce-centric grill guys like us. In fact, our typical tailgate menu is basically kryptonite for pristine Whiteout attire. Sizzle, splatter, spirits and sauce = stains.

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Introduction

Annnnd Scene.

Well, it’s Tuesday night. Like a runover raccoon, the Michigan debacle grows more and more distant in the rearview mirror as we move forward and face another horse-and-plow rushing attack, that being P.J.’s coxswains led by former Minnesota OC/former PSU OC/current Minnesota OC Kirk Ciarrocca. For those of you who like to bury traumatic, painful memories at inaccessible depths within in your subconscious mind, James Franklin hired Ciarrocca to replace Ricky Rahne in late December 2019. Four wins and several hundred Zoom meetings later, Franklin dumped Ciarrocca in favor of ousted Texas OC Mike Yurcich.

Today we’re going to compare Ciarrocca and Yurcich by examining how they fared in several basic and advanced stat categories while at Penn State, and during Ciarrocca’s two tenures at Minnesota.

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Introduction

Technically, the game hasn’t ended, yet here I am letting my fingers clack away on the keyboard because the competitive phase of this Big Noon Nightmare has been over for close to 45 minutes. Other than a Carnival-Ring-Toss-Bounce Pick Six and Sean Clifford’s 62-yard run in his old man Nike Air Monarchs, not a lot went right for the good guys in white. This was (is…) a wakeup call for the Penn State fanbase as it dramatically hits the hopes for a Big Ten championship, playoff appearance, and a breakthrough from the previous two years of mediocrity. All that’s left to ponder is whether this 5-0 start will turn out to be fools gold like last year’s 5-0 start.

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The worst-kept secret in college football is that there are the haves, and the have-nots, and that the gap between them seems more likely to expand than to contract.

One of the teams in Michigan Stadium moved a step closer toward cementing itself as a “have” on Saturday. The other left little doubt that, at least for the time being, it remains in the other category.

Penn State lost 41-17 to Michigan and the game was not that close. Read that sentence again for emphasis. The Nittany Lions won the turnover battle, did not give the ball away, and converted all of their red-zone opportunities — all key parts of the formula that had led to their 5-0 start.

And none of it mattered.

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