War Damn Eagle? Nah, More Like Worn Down Eagle, as Penn State’s Offensive Line Proved  That Speed – Even SEC Speed – Is No Match for a Solid Wall of Competent Blockers

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Just like Seacrest: Orange, Out.

Often imitated but never duplicated, Penn State – creators of the “monochromatic mayhem” known as The Whiteout – sent another color-themed crowd home with an L for the second time in as many opportunities this season.

Despite facing two squads that received votes in the preseason AP Top 25 poll – Purdue and Auburn – both on the road, the Nittany Lions offense has produced Mike Yurcich Results even if they’ve somewhat strayed from traditional Mike Yurcich Methods.

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Introduction

Not to be hyperbolic but, in my opinion, Saturday’s game against Auburn was the most dominant and complete performance by a Penn State team under James Franklin. Maybe the score wasn’t as lopsided as 59-0 (2019 Maryland), 51-6 (2018 Pitt), or the 79-0 season-opening laugher against Idaho in 2019. But, against Auburn in “vaunted” Jordan-Hare Stadium with all its supposed magical juju – weird that a nearby barn burning is considered “magic”, but whatever — the Nittany Lions weren’t expected to have a 4-score lead and the luxury of empty the bench in the 4^th Quarter.

There was a lot of talk last week about “SEC speed” and how Penn State has never experienced a home-field advantage like this one, despite Jordan-Hare’s capacity falling well short of 100,000. Well, I was there. And yes, to start the game, the scene was electric. It was absolutely louder than Iowa in 2017/19. Also, it was hot. Could the team from up north hold up in the heat and humidity of a late-Alabama summer? Not only did they hold up but by the end of the 3^rd quarter you heard many more “We Are” chants than “War Eagle, Hey” ones. On both sides of the ball, Penn State dominated this game in several facets, all of which we’ll illustrate with numbers and fun graphs and all the accoutrements you’ve come to expect from The ABC’s of Penn State Football.

Here we go.

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The scoreboard don’t care how, only how many.

Penn State’s 41-12 smackdown of Auburn in Jordan-Hare Stadium will turn some heads around the country, and will leave the hosts with just as much collective doubt as it will fill the visitors with collective confidence. James Franklin will preach “1-0” until he’s blue in the face, but he knows this win will be enjoyed by his players more than most and, in his private moments, you know he’s enjoying it, too.

Before we start measuring the Nittany Lions’ hat size for conference or national crowns, though, it’s important to look at how Penn State won this game over an opponent that looked very much like it could have a long season in the SEC ahead.

Penn State played exactly the way a team needs to play to win in a hostile environment. The Lions took care of the football, took advantage of their red-zone opportunities and largely capitalized on their opponents’ mistakes. But although they were dominant on the scoreboard—particularly in the second half—they weren’t dominant on the field for much of the game.

Only when they needed to be.

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• Hang Manny Diaz’s gameplan in the freakin’ Lourve, Frenchie. Move over, Mona. Later, Leonardo. Behold you Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkeys (Groundskeeper Willie’s words, not ours). Make room for this masterpiece and stick it behind a few strands of velvet rope for safety. When all the damage was done, and all the Van Heusen-clad, three-named, thick-banged Southern Dandy students had filed out of Jordan-Hare, Penn State snuck out of The Plains with 4 takeaways, 6 sacks, 11 TFLs, all while grounding Auburn’s mauling run game to an unremarkable 3.3 yards per carry. Beyond the stats, Penn State’s D dominated in the trenches, clamped down at the second and third levels of the defense, and was in such total control that all James Franklin had to do on offense was not screw things up.

• The nonsensical 4^th Quarter ramblings of CBS color analyst Gary Danielson offered us the perfect mental off-ramp from the game…or what was left of it. It also got us thinking: What’s the best historical parallel for this game? Note: Please don’t go all Mother Dunn on us, Mortimer, OK? According to Vegas, this was a slightly-weighted coinflip that Penn State turned into an entertaining clown show for those wearing white and a complete waste of a sunny afternoon for those wearing orange. Not sure Michigan 2017 fits in this bucket considering Penn State entered as a 8 -to 9-point favorite. The ONE game that does compare (in our eyes, anyway) is Wisconsin 2008….road game, big-time opponent, thorough behind-whooping. 1999 Arizona works, too. Any others come to mind?

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A Couple of Young, True Freshmen ‘Nursery Lions’ Graced the Beaver Stadium Stage for the First Time and Wound Up Stealing The Show as the Vets Rest for an SEC Showdown.

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(Dino Babers postgame preacher voice)…Click link for context. Jokes are always funnier when you have to explain them first. Comedy 101.

THE LAST TIME IT HAPPENED…the 2020 Chevy Equinox, outfitted with a 1.5-Liter Turbo Engine, EPA-estimated 39 MPG Highway Rating, and Low-Speed Forward Automatic Braking, was the baddest thing on the road!

(gathered crowd yells in approval)

THE LAST TIME IT HAPPENED…’WAP’ topped the charts, as a torn nation collectively came together to determine, once and for all, whether there were or whether there were not some W***** In This House?!?!

(Awkward, scattered, confused claps)

THE LAST TIME IN HAPPENED…gas was $2.10 a gallon, Baby Yoda dolls were on back order, Antonio Valentino was Antonio Shelton, musicians we’ve never heard of had their own personal combo meals on sale at McDonald’s, the Queen of England was a spry 94, and Sean Clifford was a senior.

(Silence…not even a cricket chirp)

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Introduction

“It’s only Ohio. It’s only Ohio.” – Me, muttering myself over and over while I look up ticket prices for the CFP National Championship Game in LA.

Yeah, it’s only Ohio, but over the past two years we’ve witnessed Penn State play down to the level of lesser competition often enough (see: Illini, Fighting) to not take any game for granted. Saturday, against the Bobcats and their retro helmets, Penn State showed why we fans should return to a state of unfettered optimism for 2022 and beyond. The guys with college experience under their belts – Sean Clifford, Chop Robinson, to name a couple – had very good games. And the young guys – Nick Singleton, Drew Allar, Harrison Wallace, DDS, and so many others – got real reps against a real opponent and showed why they were so coveted as recruits. Most importantly, their early-season emergence provides insurance that if there are injury issues down the line (which 100% will happen) the team isn’t going to collapse as they did last year. Penn State’s depth is as good as it has been in a very long time.

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Love was in the air for the Nittany Lions in their home opener against Ohio, in the form of a feathery 32-yard touchdown pass from rookie quarterback Drew Allar to rookie receiver Omari Evans, and it was on the ground, in the form of 179 yards and two big-play tuddies from freshman Nick Singleton. A dozen true freshmen saw the field for the home team in a mostly clean, well-rounded 46-10 pounding of an overmatched MAC squad, but Allar and Singleton were the darlings of the crowd, and they underscored what has been an inescapable theme of the season:

Now that Penn State has found love, what are they gonna do with it?

This was the game plan James Franklin had talked about executing all week, and it didn’t involve scheme or audibles. Rather, Franklin had emphasized the importance of developing depth, of getting some of these young and exciting players live reps when it counted, especially during one of the few weeks on the schedule that wasn’t supposed to be a four-quarter rock fight.

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• Throughout the offseason, we paid tribute to the infamous, ludicrous, incredibly loose-jowled Beano Cook/Ron Powlus 2 Heisman prediction from 1993 by applying the same lofty expectations any time we mentioned 5-star PSU true freshman Drew Allar in a video, blog post, tweet, Facebook comment, etc…you know, to be funny. Turns out – according to the tents pitched on Penn State twitter around 2:30 pm EST today — we set the bar WAAAAAY too low with our Beano homage.

• In all seriousness, the quantum leap Allar has taken in 5 months – from shaky, raw, multiple-red-flags rookie in the Blue-White Game to the surprisingly poised, surprisingly in-command , surprisingly advanced thrower we’ve seen in limited snaps vs. Purdue and now Ohio – is a credit to not only the work Allar put in during the summer months, but a credit to Mike Yurcich’s ability to mold talented lumps of clay.

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