This Being the Holiday Season, Penn State’s Offense – Specifically the Big Eaters Up Front – Extended Maul Hours vs. Rutgers on Saturday, Literally Pushing Its Way to Another More-Spit-Than-Polish Victory.  

FTB CHARTING – BOX SCORE

Welcome to the Wonderful World of Big Ten Weather. 

Of all the shortsighted moves the Big Ten made back in Sept. when it decided to reboot the football season, the decision to play 3 games in December (all but one occurring outdoors) escaped a lot of criticism, but shouldn’t get a free pass. 

I’m not a meteorologist, but I lived in Big Ten country long enough to know December in places like Michigan, Minnesota, Iowa, Indiana, Ohio and Pennsylvania isn’t like those picturesque Budweiser Clydesdale ads. No, it’s cold, wet, gray, muddy, windy, more gray, and downright miserable – like what I’d imagine a Milwaukee’s Best beer commercial would be, if they ever decided to advertise on TV. 

So as we examine Penn State’s offense this week and the next two weeks, God willing, keep these gross conditions in mind when complaining about the Nittany Lions unevolved Neanderball offense. 

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Sometimes, the bottom line has to be enough.

On several occasions on Saturday in wind-swept Piscataway, Penn State looked like a team that finally had all four wheels on the ground, and on others looked like the team that kept veering into traffic during the first five weeks of the season. But when the fourth quarter read all zeroes, the Nittany Lions had another win, by the score of 23-7, and exactly how convincing you believe that was or precisely what it means for the bigger picture is up to you.

Because, really, that’s what it’s about at this point in a lost season, right? What you see on the field is not really about the present any longer but what the future means for Penn State. And while maybe the margin wasn’t what some observers wanted it to be or thought it should be, there were enough positive signs in this one that bode well for the future.

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FTB’s Rapid Reaction/Stream of Consciousness Following the 900th Win in Penn State History 

• Know how I know life is slowly, SLOWLY getting back to normal? Penn State won, yet I – and I’m gonna guess a lot of you reading this – am/are ticked off. While it warmed the cockles of my heart to watch Penn State play “Neanderball” the entire 4th Quarter , it didn’t completely cover up the annoying reality that we all had to pay full attention to a Penn State-Rutgers game in the 4th Quarter.

• In defense of Sean Clifford, these receivers need to help the dude out a little bit.  Parker Washington dropped two catchable – not perfect, but catchable — balls inside the 10. The INT that bounced off Lutz’s hands wasn’t pinpoint accurate, but could’ve (should’ve?) been caught. And yes, the wind knocked down the deep pass to Dotson, and he definitely got held, but the ball still dropped right through his hands. As spectacular as this group has performed during garbage time, the wide receivers don’t seem to make a lot of plays when the game is competitive– sans the last two drives of the Nebraska game.

• Best audible of the game goes to Matt Millen. Did you catch this? Oh man, our boy Matt came THHHIISSSSSS close to saying Rutgers QB Noah Vedral “runs like a girl” after he ran like a girl on Rutgers’  stupefying 4th and 6 QB draw late in the 4th Quarter. But like a true pro, Millen reeled back in all but the G in Girl and then said, “How should I say this?” Probably the best stop-start move of the entire day.  Millen concluded this Great Escape by saying, Vedral “is not a running…guy.”

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From Pushee to Pusher in 7 Days, Penn State’s Defense Flipped the Physicality Script and Dictated Terms vs. the Khaki Crusader’s Wounded Group of Wolverines 

FTB CHARTING – BOX SCORE

Thank GAWD for those three bonehead offside penalties by the PSU defensive ends, or else we wouldn’t have much to whine about this week.  

Here’s a wild idea: Hold a Bake Sale and buy a football on a stick, guys. Problem solved. 

(Googles picture of a football on a stick). 

(Finds one. Clicks link…eyes bulge out of head at price of football stick. 70 DOLLARS!?!?!)

(Quits writing about 1-win football teams forever…wholesale orders broomsticks and rubber VOIT P.E.-class footballs…buys a ‘BUILDING AN EMPIRE’ mug on Etsy.)

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Forget the Fireworks. Fundamentals and Simplification of a New Offense That’s Probably a Full Off-Season Away from Complete Functionality Got the Job Done vs. Sheep in Wolverines’ Clothing. 

FTB CHARTING – BOX SCORE

If coffee truly is for closers, then no one should be better caffeinated than Penn State’s offense.

For a program that (justly) received a ton of crap for not slamming the door on opponents late, I feel not enough is being made of Penn State’s 5:38-minute tractor-pull downfield to ice things inside an empty Big House. 

Seven runs. 

Three Knees.

Two 3rd and 2 conversions. 

All against a defense that KNEW what was coming, but still couldn’t stop it.

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Full disclosure: After (rightly, and easily) taking Penn State to task in each of the previous five columns for many things, most of them relating to simply bad, bad football, I came into Saturday planning to use this space to highlight some of the positives for the Nittany Lions as it pertained to both this week’s game and, more importantly, to the future. I had planned to start (and likely finish) with some of the team’s younger players.

The kids made that easy to do.

Yes, Penn State got some important plays from its few remaining veterans during its takedown of hated Michigan — some big third-down grabs from Jahan Dotson, a big fourth-down stop by Ellis Brooks (and, asinine rules be damned, an outstanding heads-up play to help deliver what should have been a game-ending sack and fumble recovery from Shaka Toney) and, all credit where it’s due, a steady, mistake-free game from Sean Clifford, who had been neither of those things since 2019.

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FTB’s Rapid Reaction/Stream of Consciousness Following Penn State’s First Win in The Big House Since 2009.

• Permit us one snarky comment before shelving the cynicism and giving Penn State credit…Thank God Google AdSense is paying us fractions of a penny to watch these two teams play, because no one should be subjected to that display of timid, conservative football for free…OK, now that that’s out of our system, let’s get on with it.

• Winning is the ultimate deodorant. And winning against THAT team and THOSE uniforms – as grind-it-out, leather-helmet as it was – smells super freaking sweet. Yeah, Michigan might be a mess, and a lot of their 2020 issues (opt outs, stacks of injuries) mirror ours, but it’s still a win against an iconic program in an iconic, library-loud setting. So don’t discount the W. Even with all the Wolverines’ attrition, that’s still the second-best collection of roster talent Penn State faced this season.

• So, Penn State has to runback Friday night isolation and virtual meetings next week in New Jersey, right? Can’t mess with a streak. Social distancing Heat Check! 

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If Only Brent Pry’s Squad Could Skip the First Half and Just Play Two Second Halves…Man, That’d be Sweeeeet. 

FTB CHARTING FIRST HALF – BOX SCORE 

Lazy Writer’s Note: We tried not to rehash stuff covered in today’s Film Study, so if you want the full scope of Penn State’s defensive woes read this first then click here.

Same song, different station.

Penn State defensive coordinator Brent Pry further cemented himself as the Master of Second Half Adjustments when he figuratively threw a Dixie cup full of warm water from the Gym Class drinking fountain (always the worst) upon the weekly inferno of ineptitude that ignited once again during the initial 30 minutes of action.

Seriously, how the hell does this keep happening? 

Better question: Why are we still angry and surprised when it does?

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Answers and Solutions Continue to Elude Penn State’s Sputtering Ford Edsel Offense as Recurring Negative Trends Pile Up Saturday After Saturday 

FTB CHARTING – BOX SCORE

One play – the successful 2-point conversion to Keyvone Lee that reduced Iowa’s lead to 31-21 during the sliver-of-false-hope phase of Saturday’s depantsing  — gave us pause and made us ponder a Big Picture question:

How under James Franklin’s thumb is new OC Kirk Ciarrocca when it comes to play-calling and system installation?   

What triggered this question was a tweet from Saturday. Credit Matt Bortner of 1450 AM ESPN State College for eyeballing this reuse of a 2019 play call.

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Welcome to rock bottom. 

Or at least whatever rock bottom means until next week.

Penn State did what no other Penn State team had ever done on Saturday, falling to 0-5 on the season with a lopsided loss to a solid but unspectacular Iowa side and leaving little evidence that the first of those two numbers is likely to change anytime soon.

This isn’t a downward spiral for the Nittany Lions; it is a free fall. It can take years of work to build a program to the point where it can compete for conference championships and call itself one of the nation’s 10 best. James Franklin did that. And it can take only a matter of weeks to see that foothold he and his staff and his players had worked so hard to earn to fall away.

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