Editor’s Note: Each week during the season, the FTB Staff will release its scouting report on Penn State’s upcoming opponent. Normally, these blogs will be posted at 11 a.m. EST Thursday and Friday…but we’re a little premature this week. Hey, happens to the best of us. 

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For 8 months, the 2020 Duke’s Mayo Bowl – a game whose live TV viewership couldn’t match the swarm of clicks the destruction of its trophy received on Instagram – has been the unwanted relative sitting in my DVR.

Countless times my Significant Other has asked, ‘Hey can we get rid of this?’ in order to free up room for episodes of General Hospital or that one show where home renovators are always shocked to find mold. And countless times I’ve replied, “No, we cannot get rid of this. I need it.”  

OK, maybe “countless times” is a tad hyperbolic.  We can all count to two. 

Regardless, the point I’m failing to make is that putting together informative scouts on Penn State’s Week 1 opponents will forever be clunky because you’re using tape that’s collected a lot of digital dust since last season. Guys graduate. Guys transfer. Guys return from injury. Guys move up the depth chart, beating out starters from last season.

And in Wisconsin’s case, guys also can get 2020’d. 

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 Thanks to the NCAA Granting Student-Athletes an Eligibility Mulligan in 2020, a Handful of Nittany Lions ‘Super’ Seniors Could Potentially Stick Around for Year 6

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For those unfamiliar with the reference, Van Wilder was the protagonist in a forgettable, low-budget National Lampoon movie about a Peter Pan college undergrad with no ambition to ever leave the ivy-laced utopia of campus life.

As you probably guessed, the film cast an uptight Dad threatening to cut-off Van Wilder’s tuition money, a curmudgeonly Dean searching for excuses to expel this campus king, and included a lot of life lessons learned through copious alcohol consumption at various themed-parties.

If you’re considering spending $3.99 to rent it…don’t.

The point we’re trying to make is that the NCAA’s decision not to count the 2020 football season against players’ collegiate eligibility has given – and will continue to give – prospects on the fringe of getting drafted the option of temporarily curbing life in the Real World for another year of fall football Saturdays.

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While Dissecting Mike Yurcich’s Offense, We Left Some Meat on the Bone Related to his Quick-Snap, Hurry-Up Attack…So Enjoy These Leftover Morsels 

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Word of caution for the Lead Directors and Lead Producers stuck in TV trucks outside Beaver Stadium this season: Penn State OC Mike Yurcich and his quick-snap, up-tempo offense aren’t slowing down for your dumb bits.

Sadly, the ESPN crew assigned to broadcast the 2017 Oklahoma State-Pitt seal-clubbing learned this lesson the hard way.

As someone who funds this non-credible written-word sports media enterprise through paychecks from a credible television sports media enterprise, I feel for the poor P.A. making 10 dollars an hour who scrounged up three women’s wigs on short notice after someone on staff thought it’d be brilliant (looking at you, Tom Luginbill) to rock mullets for a segment about Mike Gundy’s hair.

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Of All the Things That Made Zero Sense Last Season, the Nittany Lions’ Historically Pitiful Turnover Luck Was One of Them 

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HOPE might be the foulest, most dangerous four-letter word in the English language, but even so, there’s an air of optimism wafting over the 2021 Penn State football season for a couple reasons.

I’d waste 300-400 words waxing poetic about those reasons but A) by now, you already know what they are, and B) I really wanna cut corners and crank this blog post out because a pool float with a highly-caloric fruity adult beverage in the cup holder awaits. But, for our seven-month coma patient readership, here’s a quick list:

 Yurcich hire. 

Dotson/Walker/Brisker return. 

Normal-ish spring practice. 

Normal-ish fall practice (no jinx). 

James Franklin’s full Transfer Portal cart.

Home-field advantage is back.

One factor, though, that doesn’t get as much play as those just listed – and one we’ll explore for as long as I can stand being cooped up indoors on this postcard-perfect afternoon — is Penn State’s historically wretched 2020 Turnover Luck and the unlikelihood of lightning striking twice in 2021.

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In Less Than a Decade, James Franklin’s Signature Line Has Gone From Battle Cry to Whisper to Something Worth Shouting Once Again 

On a dreary, rainy, #basic January Pennsylvania afternoon that won’t wind up pictured in any travel brochures shelved up at Denny’s, newly-hired Penn State coach James Franklin literally opened his mouth, figuratively lifted his leg, and definitively marked his territory during his 2014 introductory press conference when he said:

“Our recruiting philosophy: We are going to dominate the state. We’re going to dominate the state. …That is going to be our plan, and I’m calling all the high school coaches, I’m calling all the people in the state, that we need to come together like never before. And I think with everybody pulling the rope in the same direction, there’s no reason why we can’t take this program where everybody wants it to be.”

In retrospect, the genius of that quote (and the reason it stuck) wasn’t the slogan itself – although, hand up, it was catchy as heck – but rather the time at which Franklin spouted it. Though draconian NCAA sanctions were eventually truncated in September 2014, remember when Franklin initially took the job Penn State was still two full seasons away from being permitted to compete for the Big Ten title or even earn a bowl invite. 

No postseason. No trophies. No rings. 

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On Tuesday, the Highest-Ranked Pennsylvania Prep Ballcarrier Since 2017 Became the Highest-Ranked Member of Penn State’s 2022 Recruiting Class

On a streaming platform 99 percent of us didn’t know was a thing, a comforting storyline we once took for granted played out again in spite of CBS Sports HQ’s primitive production value – Pennsylvania’s premier prep playmaker picked Penn State!

After a fleeting one-weekend flirtation with Notre Dame that had Penn State’s message board mafia chomping their digital fingernails, Nicholas Singleton – a coveted 4-star running back out of Governor Mifflin High School in Reading  – finally took James Franklin up on that scholarship offer doled out back in the summer of 2019 by verbally committing on Tuesday to come play college ball in Happy Valley next season. 

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The 11th Hour Addition of the Former Florida State Defender Marks a Break From the Norm Compared To Penn State’s Previous Portal Pickups

All it took was six months for James Franklin to experience his first Mid-Portal Crisis. 

That’s not to say awarding the 84th penultimate scholarship to dismissed Florida State defensive back A.J. Lytton is the equivalent of a purchasing a motorcycle, or a pair of skinny jeans, or an 96-month-financed Corvette, or anything else super desperate or cringey, but it does raise a few eyebrows because the move really clashes with Franklin’s earlier Transfer Portal rescues. 

Harvard OL Eric Wilson. Baylor RB John Lovett. Duke DT Derrick Tangelo. South Carolina DB John(ny) Dixon. Temple DE Arnold Ebiketie. What do all those guys have in common? Well, for the most part, each of them were either middle-of-the-road or under-the-radar recruits out of high school who shone brighter than their Rivals/247 stars once they reached college. For various reasons – coaching changes, the want to play on a bigger stage – all 5 portal players relocated to Penn State as established, high floor, high character, plug-and-play options to start Week 1 or see substantial snaps at positions of need.

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Try Saying That Headline Three Times Fast. Then, After You Fail Miserably, Sit Back and Read our Final Blog Entry of the Season While Untwisting Your Tongue 

Unless James Franklin finds another magic lamp to rub and the Genie within grants him three MORE practices sessions –  which is apparently what happened the Saturday before last – Penn State concluded its spring football schedule Friday night under the Beaver Stadium lights.  

If we’re taking Franklin at his word(s), Penn State either had a “very good spring” or a “great spring” since the adjective-obsessed head coach used both modifiers in the span of four sentences when delivering his opening statement. Regardless, it was A spring – a FULL spring of 15 practices – which in itself is a victory considering the cancellation of 2020’s spring football festivities led to the Nittany Lions stepping on rakes for five weeks last season. 

Franklin concluded his post-practice verbal appetizer by mentioning he’ll meet with every player one-on-one and provide feedback along with a voluntary To-Do List to complete before training camp begins in August. While he handles that on a micro level, we’ll get a bit more macro and rank Penn State’s position units as they currently stand…

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As we crawl closer to the Year 1 finish line of this largely sophomoric/sparsely informative venture, more than one Friend Of The Blog has inquired whether we ever foresee a day when FTB morphs into a legit journalistic entity – you know, with real reporters asking real questions, jotting down real quotes instead of us embedding 1990s Simpsons clips in our stories.  

The answer is an emphatic NO…for a few reasons. 

For starters, our site’s philosophy has always been (and will always be) to complement, not copy, Penn State’s existing beat coverage. Doesn’t make sense to do what dozens of other outlets are doing…and doing better than we ever could. So for traditional Penn State coverage, go to sources like Donnie Collins in Scranton, Audrey Snyder at The Athletic, Ben Jones in State College, and BoFlo, Pickel and discount college t-shirt enthusiast Dave Jones in Harrisburg. They all do an awesome job. 

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FTB’s Rapid Reaction/Stream of Consciousness Following Two Hours of Watching Guys Mostly Stand Around

• Well, that’s a chunk of our lives we can’t get back. For those stuck at work wondering ‘What did I miss??!?!?!” first of all, calm down. You didn’t miss much of anything. Yes, Jayson Oweh ran a 4.4 40-yard dash that turned into a 4.37 that turned into a 4.36 (somehow), and yes, Micah Parsons ran a 4.41 that turned into a 4.35 that turned into a 4.39 (???) but easily the most impressive showing belonged to BTN’s Dave Revsine and Howard Griffith for masterfully filling air time when absolutely nothing was going on.

• Interesting stat: Since 2014 – James Franklin’s first year at Penn State – seven other Power 5 football teams have posted at least three 11-win seasons besides the Nittany Lions. Ohio State. Alabama. Oklahoma. Clemson. Georgia. TCU. Wisconsin. Of those teams, Penn State has produced the lowest number of 1st Round NFL Draft picks in that time – 1, Saquon Barkley. Honestly, I don’t know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Depends on how you spin it, I guess. Ohio State and Alabama are tied at the top with 16 1st Rounders. Clemson has 10. Georgia, 8. Oklahoma, 5. What’s surprising, though, is that TCU and Wisconsin have produced 4 and 3 1st Rounders, respectively.

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