Your Own Personal Loki

Don’t bet on an easy outing against Iowa, the trickster antagonist that’s tormented Penn State.

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Even in these declining days of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, which captivated audiences and ruled the box office during the 2010s, if you bring up the character of Loki to most people, it conjures Tom Hiddleston’s performance as chief antagonist in the first Avengers film and a recurring enemy (but occasional ally) of Earth’s mightiest heroes. The comic book creation on which the movie character is based was derived from actual Norse mythology, in which Loki is typically the mischief maker and obstacle to the forces of good, but every so often, the critical keystone to advancing the hero’s progress.

Here’s how Wikipedia describes the mythological figure who inspired the modern version we know from comics and cinema:

Scholars have debated Loki’s origins and role in Norse mythology, which some have described as that of a trickster god. Loki’s relation with the gods varies by source; he sometimes assists the gods and sometimes behaves maliciously towards them.

On the big screen, Loki earned his status as the archnemesis viewers loved to hate by attempting to conquer the planet and subjugate humanity, repeatedly betraying his heroic brother Thor, and generally making life miserable for all our favorite superheroes. Despite this track record of deception and destruction, the on-screen character has kept true to his real-life inspiration by emerging as an unlikely anti-hero in later installments of a meta-narrative that spans films and streaming shows.

As a long-time – and in this case, long-suffering – Penn State fan, when I think about this trickster god persona, mythological, pop cultural, or otherwise, the Iowa Hawkeyes football program comes to mind. These insufferable shitheels have tortured Nittany Nation in some of the most untimely, unorthodox, and deeply painful ways imaginable, and yet, at a few key inflection points in Penn State’s three-decade Big Ten journey, they have provided the lynchpin upon which program history has turned. Nevertheless, a date with the Hawkeyes has often been a portent of doom for the Nittany Lions.

Kirk Ferentz may come across like a curmudgeonly grandpa, but as far as I’m concerned, he may as well carry a scepter and speak with an English accent. Iowa is our “bad guy,” the one to whom we are uniquely and inextricably tied (to mix metaphors and comic book publishers, the Joker to our Batman).

Sad as it is to admit, Ohio State has dominated Penn State throughout our Big Ten-ure, but no more than they have done to every other school in the conference. In fact, only in the last two years has their archrival Michigan gained a slight edge over PSU in claiming the most success against the Buckeyes since our inaugural Big Ten season in 1993. The Wolverines have similarly cratered our skulls with regularity. These are national brands, conference powerhouses who annually represent the marquis opponents on every Big Ten member’s schedules. Iowa is different. The relationship, from the anguish to the animus to the grudging respect, is more intimate and visceral. They are the custom-tailored supervillain of the Penn State Football Universe – our own personal Loki.

Part of what makes the Hawkeyes program so maddening is the team’s knack for ruining somebody else’s fun before sabotaging their own. Few college football aficionados mention any recent Iowa team among the best or most memorable of any given year; most can name multiple times the Hawkeyes wrecked another team’s campaign. Iowa is the drunk best man who spoils your wedding day with a vulgar toast. They are the jerks who prank the plucky protagonist at prom in a high school movie. They’ll run through a once-in-a-generation MAC-quality schedule only to embarrass the entire conference in the Rose Bowl. They’ll upset your top-five team at Kinnick only to lose their next three games to Minnesota, Illinois, and 2-8 Nebraska. They are the worst crab in the bucket.

And while this penchant for ruining everything for others while saving next to nothing for themselves extends to multiple foes, no opponent has been victimized as regularly or painfully as Penn State.

Trigger warning: This is gonna get rough.

After enjoying some early success against Iowa upon joining the Big Ten (more on that later; trust me to guide you through the darkness and back to the light), the 1996 Nittany Lions, inspired by the toughness and tenacity of senior team captain Brandon Noble, had their eyes on a big bowl game and a shot at the national title. Having recovered from a thrashing by Ohio State at the Horseshoe, tenth-ranked Penn State hosted Iowa on a rainy (sigh… ) afternoon. Things seemed to progress according to script early, as the Lions took a 7-0 lead on the game’s opening drive. Things went south from there. Speedy Hawkeyes receiver Tim Dwight housed a punt to tie the game, setting up a slugfest for the remainder of the day. To add insult to injury, the decisive score in Iowa’s 21-20 victory came on a gadget play (a halfback pass). And so it began. That Hawkeyes team had a nice enough year, ending up at 9-3 with two conference losses and a final national ranking of 18. Nearly 30 years later, no Iowa fan cares whether they won nine games or just eight. Meanwhile, although State’s destruction of Texas in the Fiesta Bowl and #7 finish was quite satisfying, PSU loyalists can always wonder what could have been.

Penn State’s first two home games against Iowa this century – 2000 and 2002 – both ended in overtime defeat. In 2000, the new overtime rules were so new (long before the dumb two-point conversion system the sport currently employs), fans barely understood what was happening as a deflected pass resulted in a game-ending interception. Two years later, the Hawkeyes raced out to a commanding lead, only to see promising young freshman Zack Mills engineer the biggest comeback in Beaver Stadium history, erasing a 22-point deficit in the fourth quarter to again force extra frames. Once again, however, the final result didn’t go Penn State’s way, and the historic effort was wasted. The ’02 contest also famously featured Joe Paterno, enflamed with disgust by the officiating that day, showing off remarkable speed for a man of his age in chasing down the refs at game’s end and unloading the full force of an Italian temper tantrum. The display drew criticism from some quarters and a gentle rebuke from the conference, but it also probably helped precipitate the Big Ten’s experimentation with instant replay, which eventually spread to all of college football (your mileage may vary on whether this was a positive outcome).

Iowa’s 2004 trip to Happy Valley found the 2-5 Nittany Lions mired in their fourth losing season since the turn of the century, with a smothering defense that should be mentioned among the program’s best instead overshadowed by a stunningly inept offense. What unfolded that afternoon inside Beaver Stadium has attained infamy, in the annals of Penn State history and beyond. Throughout the game, both teams struggled to approximate competent football, mindlessly battering each other in a soul-crushing slog bereft of joy or grace. With around 10 minutes left to play, Iowa found themselves backed into the shadow of their own goalposts, leading the home team by the baseball score of 6-2. You probably know what happened next.

The Hawkeyes took an intentional safety.

Just to be clear: They were leading by FOUR POINTS at the time. Kirk Ferentz spotted the Lions two points and kicked them the ball. He calculated that the odds of a blocked kick or punt return were greater than PSU somehow managing to march 35 yards and actually make a field goal, a decision that would get any other coach, in any other place, at any other time left on the tarmac like Lane Kiffin. It was also the right call. The man made a ridiculous gamble that doubled as a stroke of strategic brilliance. Iowa won by the preposterous final score of 6-4. It was a new low. As the Hawkeyes went wheels up from the University Park airport, grateful to have escaped with one of the dopiest victories in the history of the sport, it felt like they left their vanquished opponent for dead. How could once-mighty Penn State and its legendary head coach bounce back from such humiliation?

And yet, four years later, Paterno was riding high, having engineered a magical reversal of fortune that began not long after the disastrous embarrassment of 6-4. A combination of battle-tested senior leadership and explosive young talent helped State capture an unlikely Big Ten championship in 2005, touching off a program renaissance that appeared to be reaching its zenith in 2008. The Lions were undefeated at 9-0, ranked third in the country, and boasted wins over Oregon State, Wisconsin, Michigan, and Ohio State (to this day, one of only two seasons in which Penn State has beaten both the Buckeyes and Wolverines – why not make 2023 the third?). Coming off a dramatic win at the Horseshoe, PSU’s first since joining the Big Ten, the Lions had only to survive this trip to Kinnick Stadium to close out the remaining challenges on their schedule.

There were signs of trouble early. Quarterback Daryll Clark had become a fan favorite, skillfully operating a dynamic offense with his dual threat ability, but Clark had been pulled from the previous game at Ohio State with concussion symptoms. Although he had been cleared to play, he looked out of sync. The rest of the team reflected their QB. Maybe it was an inevitable hangover from the emotional win in Columbus two weeks prior. Perhaps it was rust from the late-season bye week. The superstitious might blame the strange spell that seems to bedevil top-10 teams playing at Kinnick Stadium. It may even have been JoePa’s stubborn refusal to allow heaters on the sideline despite the piercing chill. Whatever the causes, Penn State, which had handled every circumstance so far that season with aplomb, looked listless and uninspired. The Nittany Lions led 23-21 late in the game when a Clark interception was returned to the Iowa 29. A pass interference call on senior safety Anthony Scirrotto extended the ensuing possession, and as the closing seconds ticked away, Iowa advanced inexorably down the field, moving into position for a game-winning field goal. They sealed their one-point win with a single second remaining on the clock.

It was Joe’s last, best chance to play for a national championship. On the line was the opportunity to conclude the remarkable comeback narrative that began four years prior, when current senior Derrick Williams, as the nation’s top recruit, chose floundering Penn State and, along with a crop of terrific fellow freshmen, restored the luster to the team and its coach.  That fairytale flourish to the last acts of the old man’s career and a storybook season for the recruiting class who resurrected the program all vanished in the bitterly cold darkness of the Iowa night as that kick sailed between the uprights. It might be the most devastating outcome in the history of Penn State football.

Just like the ill-fated 1996 contest, State’s 2009 home game against Iowa featured sloppy weather and a fool’s gold scoring drive to open the game, and it turned on a special teams play. This time, the Hawkeyes would get the full “Greatest Show in College Football” treatment. ESPN’s College GameDay came to town to cover #5 Penn State hosting unranked Iowa for a prime time White Out. By his own admission, Clark, now a senior, had revenge on his mind. Early on, it seemed that he would have his wish, as receiver Chaz Powell took a pass 79 yards for a touchdown on Penn State’s first offensive play. That turned out to be the high point of the night. Iowa soon grinded the game down to their preferred pace, and PSU’s fortunes permanently turned when mammoth defensive end Adrian Clayborne blocked a punt and returned it for a score, giving his team an 11-10 lead (yep, there was a safety in there, of course). Penn State went on to commit three turnovers and lost by a final of 21-10. The downcast, rain-soaked crowd trudged out of Beaver Stadium feeling a mixture of frustration and despair. They had entered lusting for revenge and left feeling more snake-bitten than ever.

The less said about the bizarre pandemic-era season of 2020, the better. It bears noting, however, that Iowa’s 41-21 victory at Beaver Stadium, a hopeless outing punctuated by a comedic 71-yard pick six by a 300-lb lineman, was the fifth loss in that team’s 0-5 start, the worst in Penn State history. And that brings us to the most recent meeting between these two old enemies, and the end of our tour de agony.

The 2021 Iowa game has become as infamous for the behavior of Iowa’s coaches and fans (one in particular) as for derailing Penn State’s season. On paper, it matched the #4 (Penn State) and #3 (Iowa) teams in the country, though neither probably deserved those lofty rankings. Throughout the game, the Kinnick crowd lustily booed every hurt player, implying, I suppose, that their glacial 1950s offense needed to be slowed down via feigning injury. Say whatever you like about that conspiracy theory, one that Ferentz inexplicably fueled in the following week’s press conference, but there’s no disputing that Penn State lost its leaders on both sides of the ball during the game. Defensive tackle P.J. Mustipher, enjoying an all-conference type of season, was lost for the year to a torn ACL, and Sean Clifford, who had led two early touchdown drives, was sidelined after a punishing hit. For the sake of charity, we’ll say that his backup Taquon Roberson struggled mightily and leave it at that. In Clifford’s absence, State couldn’t quite hold the lead that he built and lost 23-20. Another close loss, another few lines in the miserable history between these two teams.

If you want to pause to do a little deep breathing, pound a few beers, and/or @ me with some hate, I understand.

Painful as all that may have been – and I do apologize for putting you all through the torment of reading what I can attest was even more torturous to research, relive, and document – the only way out is through. In order to conquer your fears, you first must face them, and if you do not, on some level, fear these Iowa Hawkeyes, then, oh sweet Summer child, you are either a babe or a fool. To dance with these devils clad in black-and-gold is to court peril, but not without the possibility of promise for those who live to tell the tale. Having faced down their many treacherous tricks, let’s now remind ourselves of those critical Loki-ish moments in which Iowa, whether in sharing the field with the Nittany Lions or spreading their ruinous mojo around, has played a featured role in advancing the saga of Penn State football.

For Penn State’s first road game as a member of the Big Ten in 1993, the Lions traveled to Kinnick Stadium and suffered no psychological impact from the famed all-pink visitors’ locker room. The Lions blanked the Hawkeyes 31-0, no doubt antagonizing the grizzled Midwest sportswriters who resented PSU for daring to upset the venerable conference’s tradition-bound apple cart. The following season saw Hayden Fry and Joe Paterno face off in Happy Valley, and this time the result was even more lopsided, a 61-21 win for the Nittany Lions that showcased one of the greatest offenses in the history of college football.

A vastly underappreciated Penn State-Iowa tilt came in 2011. With the back-to-back soul crushers of ’08 and ’09 and a 2010 Rob Bolden game I won’t even bother writing about, not to mention the disappointments from the early-to-mid 2000s chronicled above, Penn State fans yearned for a win against their tormentors. The outcome was satisfying on its own merits, but it is also shockingly overlooked for its great significance in program history: Following halftime of the 2011 Iowa game, Joe Paterno never coached Penn State football from the sidelines again.

While the 2011 squad lacked explosive punch, they had grit and played extremely hard for their aging head coach. For the third time in six years, health problems had interfered with Joe’s ability to perform his routine duties, and at halftime of the Iowa game, he retreated to the booth to help ease the pain from injuries sustained in a player collision at practice. This procedure had become routine over the previous two weeks, but this time would be different. The following week, he coached the entire game from upstairs and never returned to the field. After enduring so much heartache at the hands of Ferentz and Iowa, the very last time Joe paced the Beaver Stadium sidelines, he had their number. The scoring drive that secured a 13-3 victory was a thing of beauty. Even though by then he was up in the press box, managing the toll of injury and old age, the entire sequence was vintage Joe. It was an 11-play, 49-yard grind that featured 10 runs capped by a touchdown pass off play-action and chewed up almost six-and-a-half minutes of game time. He beat the Hawkeyes at their own game. I think often about the waning moments of that first half, those last few minutes before he led his team back into the locker room, none of us realizing that it was over. I’m glad that it came against Iowa, those two old rivals locked in combat for a final time.

Iowa’s most profound impact on Penn State, though, didn’t come in a game between the Nittany Lions and Hawkeyes.

Even as we sit here now, dreaming of playoff games and national titles, reveling in the resurgence of Penn State football on the field and the recruiting trail, it’s easy to forget that we owe much of this present momentum to our corn-fed adversaries from Iowa. The enduring images of the unforgettable 2016 season come from the White Out victory over second-ranked Ohio State. Marcus Allen blocking the field goal. Grant Haley returning it for six. Fans storming the field and transforming the Beaver Stadium turf into a sea of white. All of it magical. But much like we all remember the Miracle on Ice against the Soviets and forget the USA still had to defeat Finland to win the gold, Penn State fans often overlook the fact that the win over OSU, as wonderful as it was, didn’t secure an inside track to the Big Ten Championship Game.

Penn State had already gotten wrecked at Michigan, who was undefeated and looking like a juggernaut. With that loss to the Wolverines on the books, the Lions needed more than an Ohio State victory in The Game to punch their ticket to Indianapolis. Michigan also had to lose to someone else. And who, of all the possible someones, came through with that unlikely assist? You guessed it. In circumstances that eerily mirrored Penn State’s 2008 Waterloo, 9-0 Michigan, ranked third in the country, traveled to Iowa for a night game at Kinnick Stadium and suffered a one-point loss, a 14-13 stunner decided by a field goal as time expired. When we assess the ways in which that conference title run altered the program’s trajectory, it is worth remembering that it never happens without the Iowa Hawkeyes.

There have been other important wins. In 2012, Bill O’Brien’s legendary Iron Lions hit another gear with a 38-14 dismantling of Iowa on the road. The future Big Ten champs may have needed an assist from the Hawkeyes to achieve that title, but not before a pillar-to-post 41-14 domination of Iowa at an ad hoc white out (lower-case to reflect its unofficial status) in 2016. Trace McSorley gutted out a home win over Iowa in 2018, and the following year, Sean Clifford cemented his standing as the team’s new field general with a victory in Iowa City.

Sandwiched in between those contests was a consequential Iowa road trip no Penn State football fan will ever forget. The history between the two teams was well established, as was Kinnick Stadium’s status as a house of horrors for top-ranked teams, so no one was surprised when #4 Penn State struggled mightily under the lights, despite a star-studded offense. Ultimately, the night belonged to the best player on the field. Again and again, with each new feat more breathtaking than the last, running back Saquon Barkley made the plays that kept his team alive. Anybody who watched will always remember the standout performance that prompted broadcasters Chris Fowler and Kirk Herbstreit to dub Barkley “Superman.” Nevertheless, the game almost slipped away. Iowa had the ball, trailing by two, with a chance to use up the clock and kick a game-winning field goal as time expired (I’m not making this up). This time, though, an ill-advised (in hindsight) decision by Hawkeyes running back Akrum Wadley to score a touchdown on a breakaway gave Penn State one final possession. Quarterback Trace McSorley engineered a masterful drive that culminated with a walk-off touchdown pass to Juwan Johnson as the clock went to zeroes. Barkley and The Wizard had worked their magic yet again, this time to silence the echoes of the past.

Overcoming the Kinnick curse that had bewitched the Wolverines and so many other top-10 teams temporarily banished the demons of losses past. It granted the Nittany Lions permission to advance to the next challenges (ultimately falling short against Ohio State). This is what it means for Penn State to face down Iowa, and here we are, yet again.

With a weather forecast that’s grown steadily worse throughout the week recalling that miserable 2009 White Out against the Hawkeyes, we have reached a critical crossroads in this season’s journey. Iowa stands before the gates, barring our access to the wilderness where our fate awaits.

The stakes are high for our heroes in facing off against the trickster villain who has defined them, but Saturday night is merely a rite of passage. If they can pass the test, this team’s legacy will be determined in the weeks to come, in Columbus and at home against the Wolverines. We have imagined this year’s team to finally be worthy of the playoff conversation, but first, they must vanquish their peskiest foe. The moment is at hand to find out if they are truly up to this task.

Will Iowa once again play the spoiler or propel our heroes forward to take on even tougher and more consequential trials ahead? The answer is the key to unlocking the rest of Penn State’s season.

Three for the Road:

1. Last week, we learned how Drew Allar would handle a day when things started going wrong. The answer? Admirably. On Saturday night, the odds feel high that we’ll get to watch him respond to another obstacle: his first interception. No jinx. It’s gonna happen eventually, has to, and Iowa seems as likely a candidate as any against whom to break the seal. The Hawkeye defense has lived off luring far more experienced quarterbacks than Allar into bad decisions since before cell phones were invented. If Drew does toss one to the wrong jersey this weekend, it will be another growth opportunity and a chance to further build the legend of his Steady Eddie demeanor.

2. A few streaks and trends are on the line this weekend. The Nittany Lions have put up at least 30 points in 10 straight contests. The Hawkeyes have allowed opponents to score 30+ only 11 times since the start of the 2017 season. Penn State has also covered the spread for 10 games in a row. At the time of my writing this, most books have the Lions favored by 14.5. Also, thanks to my friends at the Let’s Talk Penn State podcast, I know that PSU must hold Iowa to fewer than 15 points to knock Brian Ferentz back off his contractually mandated pace of 25 points per game.

3. Heading into the season, I thought the correct begrudging rooting interest for Penn State fans in Saturday night’s big Ohio State-Notre Dame matchup was pulling for the Irish. This Summer, we all fixated on the potential for OSU, Michigan, and Penn State to beat up on each other, and an extra Buckeyes loss seemed desirable in terms of jockeying for a playoff spot. Now, I’m sorry to say, I think we’re Ohio State “fans” this weekend. With the PAC-12, Big XII, ACC (via FSU or maybe Miami), and of course the SEC all shaping up to be strong petitioners for one of those four spots, Penn State and the Big Ten want the Fighting Irish pushed out of that conversation as quickly and definitively as possible.