Sunday Column: Think College Football as you know it is going to survive for much longer? Take a peek at our foggy but fascinating crystal ball

A not-so-long time from now, in a college football galaxy not so far-fetched …

It’s 2032. Penn State, having dispatched Michigan, Ohio State, USC, Oregon, Boise State, Oklahoma, Hawaii, Florida State, Central Michigan, BYU, and Navy to win the Big Ten (which now includes 36 teams), clinches a 2 seed in the 16-team playoff.

Nittany Lion fans are excited for many reasons, including that it represents the program’s first conference title since 2016, and that Penn State will get to host at least one playoff game in Beaver Stadium, which now seats a cozy 85,000 thanks to a six-year renovation process that cost a mere $3.2 billion. Playoff tickets cost $450-700 apiece, which represents only a slight per-game increase from the season ticket package. Plans are underway to erect a 2,000-square foot sportsbook on the concourse, which is expected to generate an additional $2 million in revenue for the university each year.

There are rumors circulating around State College and among national reporters that James Franklin will announce his retirement after the season, which is generating the usual mixed reactions from fans and media. He has two more years remaining on a contract that pays him a handsome $12 million per year, which is the sixth-largest deal among college coaches but also makes him the fifth-highest-paid member of his own program, behind his quarterback, top running back, star defensive end, and a hard-hitting safety who transferred in from LSU after playing at Alabama and Texas. The fans’ top choice to replace Franklin is former linebacker Micah Parsons, who has recently retired from the NFL and has precisely no coaching experience.

Penn State edges out seventh-seeded Notre Dame in the first playoff game 22-10 on the strength of one touchdown, five field goals and seven quarterback sacks. The Irish, the only FBS team still maintaining independent status, were a controversial playoff selection after losing half their games, but their fans spend much of the next week complaining on TwitX (which now has a mere 300,000 members) that the Nittany Lions received too many favorable calls despite accepting 12 penalties to Notre Dame’s three.

That sets up a rematch with hated Michigan, which is now led by head coach Tom Brady and his son, fifth-year senior quarterback Ben Brady. Penn State defensive coordinator Deion Barnes applies heavy pressure with well-timed blitzes, though, stymying young Brady for much of the contest. Penn State receives a well-timed boost from talented wide receiver Bryan McCringleberry, who catches a late touchdown pass despite having joined the team only three days earlier thanks to new transfer portal rules that allow players to transfer up to three times per season.

The Nittany Lions then take on Texas in the Nick Saban Semifinal. The Longhorns have one of college football’s wealthiest rosters, with even a few backup offensive linemen that pull in seven-figure salaries, er, NIL compensation packages, but head coach Lincoln Riley makes a questionable fourth-down decision to go for it—minutes after Franklin’s failed fake field-goal try costs Penn State a good chance at points—and the Nittany Lions capitalize when Griffin Gould nails a 47-yard field goal with five seconds left on the clock to seal a 27-24 win. Athletic director Patrick Kraft tears several ligaments in his knee running onto the field in celebration but waves off assistance from concerned players.

Before a sold-out crowd of 82,000 in TikTok Stadium (formerly AT&T Stadium and the home of the Dallas Cowboys), Penn State then meets Georgia, which is looking for its seventh title in 14 seasons under Kirby Smart, in the national championship game. NBC broadcaster Todd Blackledge recuses himself from calling the game but does agree to do a taste of the town segment in which he samples a steak from a steer that has been genetically engineered by the same technology that is keeping Jerry Jones alive.

Two of the nation’s top defenses keep the scoring low until late in the fourth quarter, when tight end Punch Johnson, who transferred from Penn State to Indiana back to Penn State in a three-week span in October, hauls in a third-down pass with his fingertips and hurdles over two Bulldog defenders into the end zone, breaking a 10-10 tie. He signs a NIL endorsement deal from Nike before taking the field for the next series.

The teams trade punts before Georgia begins a 12-play drive that advances all the way to Penn State’s 10-yard line with six seconds left. Quarterback Tate “Sweet Tea” Hushpuppies can’t find an open receiver, breaks a tackle and heads for the goal line, but he is met by three Nittany Lion defenders, who pile-drive him into the artificial turf as time expires. Hushpuppies is ruled short of the goal line on the field, and after a 27-minute examination of the replay, during which time analysts Booger McFarland and Pat McAfee debate the merits of team culture and bemoan the loss of a two-a-day practices, the ruling is upheld. The Nittany Lions have their third national championship.

The coaches and players are greeted by a parade on College Avenue upon their return to campus, and only three Pennsylvania columnists write that Franklin should be fired, well short of the usual eight. Half the roster declares for the NFL Draft the next day, and an additional 15 players announce they have entered the transfer portal, which is standard operating procedure for most high-level teams. Two weeks later, NCAA president Desmond Howard and NFL commissioner Roger Goodell announce a partnership that will make college football programs across the nation official minor-league feeders for NFL teams, and Penn State becomes an affiliate of the Pittsburgh Steelers.