Sponsor: Whether tailgating in Happy Valley or watching the action at home, take your Saturday spread to the next level with Sauces, BBQ Dry Rubs and Bloody Mary Mix from the 409 Tailgate Club. Visit 409’s Online Store HERE.

You know, we don’t hamstring ourselves with a ton of rules when it comes to grilling, tailgating or life, in general. Our best creations, best ideas, best decisions arise when we color outside the lines a little, guesstimate our measurements, and add a shot of alcohol to pretty much everything.

But there is one ironclad principle from which we never waver. It is our day-to-day culinary compass:

PORK > POTATOES

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Who The Heck is Calling Plays for the Nittany Lions Offense…And What Has He Done With Mike Yurcich?!?!

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Tsk, Tsk, Mr. BTN TV Truck director guy. Surely, you’ve heard that wise ol’ saying about ASSUMING, right? How it makes a four-legged perissodactyla mammal that’s smaller than a horse with long ears and a braying call of you and me?

Well, not me.

Just you.

I know better than to try and squeeze-in an RPO instant replay while Penn State OC Mike Yurcich – a guy who made his mark (and his millions) igniting a Highway-To-The-Danger Zone, All-Gas-No-Brakes, Meep-Meep up-tempo offense that constantly stresses not only defensive coordinators’ aptitude to think on the fly, but also the cardiovascular capacity of gooey 300-pound DTs — mans the sticks.

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Sponsor: For The Blogy’s 2022 season coverage is sponsored by FANATICS. Spare the embarrassment of showing up to Beaver Stadium in LAST year’s sweat- & alcohol-stained gear. Grab something fresh from our collection of Penn State jerseys, T-shirts, and more right HERE.

Introduction

It was the best of times, it was the okay-ist of times, I guess.

Penn State is 4-0 after downing their 2^nd MAC foe in three games as the the Central Michigan University Chippewas managed to hang around but never really threaten during a 33-14 setback at Beaver Stadium. Penn State football Twitter (the community not the university account) was in some disarray after CMU came back to tie the game at 14 late in the 2^nd quarter. Then, the Nittany Lions scored the final 19 points to close out the game. Of course, that didn’t silence the army of keyboard warriors out there. There was concern about quarterback play and decision making. There was concern about the run game that was stifled for much of the first half. There was concern about the Lions’ pass catchers. Regardless, Penn State has safely navigated 1/3rd of its 2022 slate without a hiccup in the loss column and sit comfortably within the Top 15 nationally. This on a Saturday where several top-ranked teams looked shaky, even indestructible Georgia. So, Penn State Twitter, give your frantic fingers a rest while we explored where Penn State ranks nationally in terms of offensive and defensive efficiency.

But first…

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Typically, there are two ways a team responds from the sort of lopsided road win Penn State earned at Auburn last week when it plays its next game against inferior opposition.

1. Continue the momentum with sharp execution, big plays, physical dominance, or some combination of all of those things.
2. Play like everyone on the team, including the staff, had been out at the “bar” from Varsity Blues the night (and morning) before.

At home for a noon kick against a 1-2 Central Michigan team Saturday, the Nittany Lions did both during a sort-of-but-not-that-convincing 33-14 win.

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Sponsor: Whether tailgating in Happy Valley or watching the action at home, take your Saturday spread to the next level with Sauces, BBQ Dry Rubs and Bloody Mary Mix from the 409 Tailgate Club. Visit 409’s Online Store HERE.

• Man, beer sales at Beaver Stadium can’t start soon enough, eh?

• In all seriousness…Saturday can’t always be a symphony. Sometimes, like today, it’s a middle school recital. Jagged. Discordant. Off key. Off note. Rough on the senses. Enjoyable to no one besides the parents of the participants. And that’s OK. After surviving Week 1 on the road, and then shellacking an SEC foe on the road in Week 3, a 60-minute sleepwalk through a meddlesome MAC contender and its shark-loving coach shouldn’t have been a shocker to anybody. So, while the message board Chicken Littles on Rivals, 247 and On3 point to the sky, jaws agape, we’ll try our best to keep things in perspective: Penn State won by 3 TDs, won the turnover battle 4-0, and other than slight discomfort shown by 44-Tyler Warren late and the mysterious disappearance of 64-Hunter Nourzad, the Nittany Lions escaped this chore of a contest fairly healthy: mission accomplished.

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Sponsor: Whether tailgating in Happy Valley or watching the action at home, take your Saturday spread to the next level with Sauces, BBQ Dry Rubs and Bloody Mary Mix from the 409 Tailgate Club. Visit 409’s Online Store HERE.

How’s that saying go? The best-laid plans of mice and something-or-other? Sorry, even though our typical blog posts are longer than a CVS receipt and wordy as all get-out, we’re not big readers.

Anyway, earlier this summer, Penn State brass formally announced their plans to conduct an in-game alcohol sales “trial run” at Beaver Stadium for the Central Michigan game this Saturday – a long-overdue decision that delighted everybody except the fat cats at BIG FLASK.

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War Damn Eagle? Nah, More Like Worn Down Eagle, as Penn State’s Offensive Line Proved  That Speed – Even SEC Speed – Is No Match for a Solid Wall of Competent Blockers

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Just like Seacrest: Orange, Out.

Often imitated but never duplicated, Penn State – creators of the “monochromatic mayhem” known as The Whiteout – sent another color-themed crowd home with an L for the second time in as many opportunities this season.

Despite facing two squads that received votes in the preseason AP Top 25 poll – Purdue and Auburn – both on the road, the Nittany Lions offense has produced Mike Yurcich Results even if they’ve somewhat strayed from traditional Mike Yurcich Methods.

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Sponsor: FTB’s Donors Club – the most direct way to support our efforts – is back for another year! (Sally Struthers voice) For $9.99 you can feed a starving blogger and get a cool FTB Koozie in return. JOIN HERE.

*Please remember to click the ‘Share My Address With For The Blogy’ box when checking out so we know where to mail your gift!

Introduction

Not to be hyperbolic but, in my opinion, Saturday’s game against Auburn was the most dominant and complete performance by a Penn State team under James Franklin. Maybe the score wasn’t as lopsided as 59-0 (2019 Maryland), 51-6 (2018 Pitt), or the 79-0 season-opening laugher against Idaho in 2019. But, against Auburn in “vaunted” Jordan-Hare Stadium with all its supposed magical juju – weird that a nearby barn burning is considered “magic”, but whatever — the Nittany Lions weren’t expected to have a 4-score lead and the luxury of empty the bench in the 4^th Quarter.

There was a lot of talk last week about “SEC speed” and how Penn State has never experienced a home-field advantage like this one, despite Jordan-Hare’s capacity falling well short of 100,000. Well, I was there. And yes, to start the game, the scene was electric. It was absolutely louder than Iowa in 2017/19. Also, it was hot. Could the team from up north hold up in the heat and humidity of a late-Alabama summer? Not only did they hold up but by the end of the 3^rd quarter you heard many more “We Are” chants than “War Eagle, Hey” ones. On both sides of the ball, Penn State dominated this game in several facets, all of which we’ll illustrate with numbers and fun graphs and all the accoutrements you’ve come to expect from The ABC’s of Penn State Football.

Here we go.

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