Dispensing Thoughts & Opinions: Penn State vs. Minnesota
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• Prior to tonight, the last time Minnesota backup QB/full bag of Scrabble tiles Athan Kaliakmanis started a football game, THIS was the setting:
Needless to say, to steal a phrase from former Penn State defensive tackle and Friend of the Blog Brandon Noble, THIS (below) was an entirely different animal.
• Give James Franklin credit (a keystroke sequence that I don’t believe my fingers have traversed during the 2.5 years we’ve pushed out these .09 BAC postgame recaps…first time for everything, I guess). Unlike 2021, 2020, 2018, 2017 and 2014, this edition of Penn State chased away their first-loss hangover with arguably their best game of the season – quashing that particular disturbing narrative, for now. Now sure, the “spirited” night crowd helps. AARP member Tanner Morgan sitting out helps. Kirk Ciarrocca’s infatuation with handing off on 3rd 14 helps. And it’s not like this seal-clubbing under the lights makes up for last week’s Maizeout bed-wetting. But still, it was a nice win and, more importantly, a rare quality post-loss response for a team that likes to parrot Franklin’s stale “1-0” mantra, but doesn’t ever seem to live it.
• For those of you who didn’t flip to the Phillies game late in the 4th quarter, you heard ABC color analyst/Lucky Charms cereal box model Greg McElroy steal a bit of our DISPENSING thunder when he mentioned that Penn State isn’t going to stop Ohio State next week – that the Buckeyes are gonna put up points – and that the only chance Penn State has to spring the upset is to empty the clip on offense. Even then, it probably won’t be enough. So be it. Go down swinging. Go down with Sean Clifford throwing 50/50 arm-punts downfield and trusting his guys to out-athlete the defender, like we saw tonight. Go down finding creative ways to get the ball to Nick Singleton and Omari Evans — Penn State’s lone pop-the-toppers on offense – like we saw tonight. Exploit Theo Johnson’s physical gifts in the vertical passing game, like we saw tonight. Don’t fair catch kickoffs that land short of the end zone, analytics be damned. And then, pray for some “run-good” bounces and calls from the refs.
• Super minor and easily overlooked note, but true freshmen RBs Nick Singleton and Kaytron Allen have rebounded quite well from the Slip n’ Slide Northwestern fumblefest three weeks ago. Correct us if we’re wrong, but I don’t believe a ball has left their grasp since. Actually, on second thought, don’t correct us. We’re going to bed soon and won’t be up to edit this.
• Can someone smarter and sobererererer than myself explain what the hell is the point of trotting out a concussed QB to go through warmups? And don’t you dare say, “gamesmanship.” It’s just dumb. Given the current post-Tua climate, everyone with 5 braincells knew there was no chance Tanner Morgan was gonna start. Heck, not even Dr. Nick Riviera would have cleared Morgan tonight.
• Know who might be the biggest Whiteout fan of them all? Mother Nature. 2019, 2017 and tonight have all been late October Central Pennsylvania weather anomalies – sun-soaked autumn afternoons that belong inside a Chamber of Commerce brochure. Other than 2016’s wet-frigid-gross-but-awesome Whiteout, the “Greatest Stage in College Football” has been unseasonably comfortable over the years.
• Hey, can we add names to the back of these Frankenstein/Hodgepodge “Generations of Greatness” uniforms, please? What better way to honor the contributions of the 2012, 2013 and 2014 Penn State squads – teams that managed to patch enough leaks to keep this sanction-riddled program afloat – than slapping some nameplates on the back of these jerseys? It’s not like all the elements of these alternates are sacred. The white cleats were worn once in a loss and the Lion Shrine button on the collar was never a part of Penn State’s unis.
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