Dispensing Thoughts & Opinions: Penn State vs. Indiana

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• 92.3% sure I used this topper before…but whatever. It fits: As Chumbawamba once pontificated, these Nittany Lions got knocked down, but they got up again for the second time this season, further distancing themselves from the rolling snowball of suck that was the second half of last year. With “nothing to play for” in front of a scattered, gap-riddled, British-smile of a crowd the Nittany Lions tub-thumped Indiana as if there were still pollsters to impress. The haters won’t like this, but kudos to James Franklin and the rest of the staff for erasing at least one of many troubling narratives attached to his 9-year tenure…well, for now, anyway.

• (checks wallet) No, we’re still not card-carrying members of the ‘2020 was a Fake Season’ or didn’t/shouldn’t count club. Honestly, never understood the rationale of those willing to dismiss that year completely without a second thought, like a snot-laden Kleenex. Sure, Bob from Intercourse and Marge from Shickshinny weren’t in attendance, sitting on their wrinkled, veiny, liver-spotted hands, bitching about the devil’s music blasting over the PA system. And sure, the most threatening penetration teams like Wisconsin, Michigan and Maryland faced all season was PCR tests going up their players’ noses, decimating rosters and slicing Saturdays off an already thin schedule. But they still played 11 a side, kept score, handed out a sanitized Heisman and crowned conference and national champions, didn’t they? With all that said – and our position on this matter firmly cemented – it’s fairly clear Indiana’s 2020 Cinderella season was a total byproduct of the world almost ending. What a dumpster fire of a program.

• Hard to extract anything valuable from Drew Allar’s second-half cameo since there was nothing in doubt, nothing at stake, and no consequences for poor throws/reads/progressions when he entered the contest. It’s November. Penn State has two losses. If you’re dead-set on not starting Allar, give the guy a ‘spot series’ or two when there’s actually something on the line. Not saying you gotta leave him in…just gradually build up his tolerance for the pressure and expectations of big time college football by sending a few snaps his way when the opposing team still has a stack of chips on the table.

• Does cold weather amplify the volume of on-field collisions, or were ABC’s sideline mics turned up to 11? My goodness! I audibly winched more than once in the first half as Penn State’s defenders demolition-derby’d (verb) themselves into Indiana’s ballcarriers.

• Nice try, Kalen King, but it’s impossible to look cool when your heavier twin brother belly bumps you to the ground during your awkward post-interception celebration. Anyone else catch that? After failing to stick the landing, Kalen shushed the mostly disinterested crowd…kinda like how we skip for a couple steps after tripping on a sidewalk crack so we don’t look like total doofuses.

• Considering it took redshirt sophomore Olu Fashanu roughly 4 to 5 starts to emerge as a no-brainer NFL 1^st Round draft pick despite being two birthdays shy from buying a drink, and considering little-used newcomers JB Nelson and Drew Shelton snatched souls snap after snap after snap today, are we sure James Franklin knows what the hell he’s looking at when it comes to evaluating offensive linemen?

• Man, that 4^th quarter Bloomington sky looked like it was lifted from a Charles Russell painting. Breathtaking.

Indiana head coach Tom Allen and Fire Marshal Bill from the classic 1990s comedy sketch series ‘In Living Color’ have never been in the same room at the same time. Dare you to prove us wrong. And for those reading this with lost, blank stares on your faces – or those of you who just laughed politely but didn’t get this dusty, not-so-contemporary reference — here ya go:

• Anyone else let those fraud meteorologists, with their trumped up Wind Advisory and calls to gather up two of every species, dupe them into betting more than you can afford on the under in this game? Sigh, guess I’ll have to wait at least one more week to tell my boss off. God, it’s gonna be sweet.