Dispensing Thoughts & Opinions: Penn State vs. Illinois

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• Kudos to Arby’s clairvoyant in-house marketing team for landing the title sponsor spot on ABC’s Penn State-Illinois broadcast. Great choice. In fact, I’d say the decision makers in horsey sauce-stained suits couldn’t have picked a more “on-brand” game to advertise on. I mean, this contest WAS Arby’s — soggy, repulsive, depressing, nauseating, disappointing, and really, really, really tough to swallow.

• (Deep breath) Where to even begin…

…guess we’ll dish out credit where credit is due: swollen Illinois HC Bret Bielema authored an masterful run-blocking opus today using an unwanted collection of 300-pounders that he verbally eviscerated five days earlier. The Illini somehow managed to rack up 357 yards on the ground despite posing zero threat through the air. In several standard down situations, Illinois lined up 7 O-linemen, 2 tight ends, 0 wide receivers, and just Red Rover’d right through the unprepared Penn State defense, thus validating every slow-footed Big Ten stereotype your co-worker from Chattanooga or brother-in-law from Houston has ever spouted at you.

• Excuse a weird complimentary metaphor, but it’s now incredibly obvious that Penn State DT PJ Mustipher was the chewed-up bubble gum plugging the crack in the Nittany Lions defensive dam. Without the soon-to-be Rascal Scooter endorser eating up blocks and keeping LBs clean, Penn State’s defenders — who will post awesome combine numbers in spandex come March 2022, a worthless source of pride for our fanbase  — were regularly pushed out of gaps and outmuscled in tight confines.

• Penn State won the turnover battle 3-0…and lost…to Illinois.

• Admittedly, I thought Sean Clifford looked 100 percent early on today. Then, he got hit. And hit. And hit. As the senior QB dealt with compounding discomfort as the game progressed, the physical pain seemed to affect his throwing mechanics (a lot of premature backfoot heaves in the face of pressure) and his ability to mentally process reads and stay in rhythm.

• Penn State’s OL has been a mess. Penn State’s RBs have been pedestrian, at best. But the most disappointing unit of the season might be the Nittany Lions’ Tight Ends. After posting unbelievable (literally) 40-yard dash times on Holuba Hall’s downhill practice field, the trident of Brenton Strange, Theo Johnson, and Tyler Warren were supposed to unleash piles of pain upon Big Ten DCs this season. Hasn’t happened.

• While we were eyeballs-deep in Mike Yurcich research last summer, we stumbled upon a fantastic Oklahoma State blog called Pistols Firing. In more than one article, their writers questioned and analyzed Yurcich’s ability to evolve as the season progressed –including in the statistical bonanza that was the 2017 campaign. They argued that once defenses decoded various successful big-play concepts that thrashed opponents in September and early October Yurcich had no counter. Just sayin…

• Sure hope the 9 OT ending doesn’t distract the media and the conference from addressing Illinois’ first quarter fumble-that-wasn’t – the one Penn State recovered for a touchdown I never thought we’d actually need in what was supposed to be a laugher. Not sure what else to say…just a really bad call that was handled poorly. And can someone tell me why forward progress is some sacred cow that can’t be reviewed? Sure, it’s a subjective call…just like possession of the ball and targeting, which can both be reviewed.

• 24: The Over/Under on how many lazy newspaper copy editors incorporate some version of ‘Nine Lives’ in tomorrow’s headlines.