Comedian vs. The Coin: Champions Week

Editor’s Note: Each Week During the Football Season Stand-Up Comedian and Co-Host of the Punch Drunk Sports Podcast, Jayson Thibault, picks games against the flips of a John F. Kennedy Half-Dollar. 

The Contestants

Jayson Thibault is a stand-up comedian and original member of the Punch Drunk Sports Podcast along with Ari Shaffir and Sam Tripoli.

The JFK Half-Dollar Coin was first minted in 1964. This particular 50-cent piece we’re flipping has been in the cup holder of a 2015 Toyota Camry for some time and is a tad sticky. If it picks winners, we’re not going to wash it. If it doesn’t, we’re spending it.   

The Format

Thibault picks 10 games against the spread. The JFK Coin picks 10 games against the spread via flip (Heads = Favorite. Tails = Underdog.) Simple.

STANDINGS

TEEBS’ FREE MONEY WINNERS

MIAMI DOLPHINS (-2.5) over New England Patriots

If I told you two years ago that the Miami Dolphins would be the team to stick the final dagger into the New England Patriots Dark Reign…well…let’s just say you would’ve been more likely to believe there’d be a global pandemic and almost no football, at all. In this case, both are true. Dolphins win by 12. 

THE BALL STATE UNIVERSITY (+13.5) over Buffalo 

The best three years of my life were my sophomore year at Ball State University. I’m taking the two touchdowns and I’m taking what would’ve been my Alma Mater…if not for that whole attending class thing. Buffalo appears to have a 12-year-old at running back that is averaging 970 rushing yards per game. I’m still taking the Cardinals! Chirp Chirp!!!!  

NORTHWESTERN (+20.5) over Ohio State

Give me the points and the Wildcats because…F*** Ohio State. Nothing would make the end of the 2020 college football season feel like it’s been 2020’d right in the ass like Ohio State getting upset in this game. Let’s gooooooo 2020! Work your magic, baby! 

Rest of Teebs’ Selections:

NOTRE DAME (+10.5) over Clemson

U OF CINCINNATI (-14) over Tulsa

USC (-3.5) over Oregon

BILLS (-6.5) over Broncos

PACKERS (-8.5) over Panthers 

BUCCANEERS (-6) over Falcons

COLTS (-7) over Texans

JFK COIN’S TOP FLIPS 

ARMY (+3) over Air Force

I’ve been told the winner of this game takes home the Commander-in-Chief’s Trophy…which is news to me since I thought Marilyn died decades ago. 

PITTSBURGH STEELERS (-13) over Cincinnati Bengals (Monday)

As a man who handled his own Steel Crisis back in 1962, I considered calling Mike Tomlin and offering up some advice…but then I read they’re playing Cincinnati, so I figured, what’s the point?

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (+13) over Baltimore Ravens 

No Trace McSorley? Man, this is the REAL End of Camelot.   

Rest of JFK Coin’s selections:

PENN STATE (-15) over Illinois

UCLA (-6.5) over Stanford

COASTAL CAROLINA (-3) over ULL  

OKLAHOMA (-5.5) over Iowa State

CARDINALS (-6) over Eagles

GIANTS (+6) over Browns

TITANS(-11) over Lions

BONUS: Teebs’ FINAL  Pandemic Play of the Week

This is our last Comedian vs. The Coin. It’s been interesting and fun. After tripping out of the gate with a 1-9 start, I’ve basically caught up to the coin as we head down the home stretch. Therefore, my final pick is ME. I love all 5 of my NFL picks, so if I were you I’d take that slap-in-the-face $600 Stimulus Crumb…err, Check and parlay all of those games. On that cheery note, thank you to everybody who read all year…and apologies to anyone dumb enough to mirror our selections. Happy Holidays. Happy Pandemic.  Always and forever, consider it sucked.