Comedian vs. The Coin: Big Ten Week 5

Editor’s Note: Each Week During the Football Season Stand-Up Comedian and Co-Host of the Punch Drunk Sports Podcast, Jayson Thibault, picks games against the flips of a John F. Kennedy Half-Dollar. 

The Contestants

Jayson Thibault is a stand-up comedian and original member of the Punch Drunk Sports Podcast along with Air Shaffir and Sam Tripoli.  On Nov. 27, Thibault will be recording his new comedy album, “Covidiot” during his performance at The Market Lounge & Comedy Club in Valparaiso, Indiana.  FTB is without question THE No. 1 Penn State football site in Northwest Indiana, so far all our readers in the area (Brian) be sure to check him out! 

The JFK Half-Dollar Coin was first minted in 1964. This particular 50-cent piece we’re flipping has been in the cup holder of a 2015 Toyota Camry for some time and is a tad sticky. If it picks winners, we’re not going to wash it. If it doesn’t, we’re spending it.   

The Format

Thibault picks 10 games against the spread. The JFK Coin picks 10 games against the spread via flip (Heads = Favorite. Tails = Underdog.) Simple.

STANDINGS

TEEBS’ FREE MONEY WINNERS

ATLANTA FALCONS (+7) over New Orleans Saints

The Falcons always play the Saints tough…and that’s pre-Jameis Winston. And as we all know Jameis Winston is…Jameis Winston. Despite my Week 1 decree never to pick them, I’ll take the Falcons +7. Plus, the Falcons have the best player in the NFL —  kicker Younghoe Koo!  As his number one fan and jersey owner, I invite all of you to join the fan club I’m starting up called, “The Koo Klub Klan.” We’re gonna have meetings and rallies and everything.  So, yeah, I’m taking Atlanta. 

INDIANA (+20) over Ohio State 

As I’ve said before I believe Indiana is good. And I don’t think Ohio State has played enough football. I think Ohio State wins this game, but I’ll take Indiana +20 points.

ARIZONA CARDINALS (+3.5) over Seattle Seahawks  (Thursday)

Shipments of that magic, cure-all nanobubble water Russell Wilson endorsed like an early 20th Century Traveling Toxic Salesman a few years ago must be delayed, because the Seahawks are pretty banged up. So, gut-check game for Seattle…statement game for Arizona. I’ll take the Cardinals making that statement.

Rest of Teebs’ Selections:

CINCINNATI  (-3.5) over UCF

NORTHWESTERN (+7) over Wisconsin

CLEMSON (-33) over Florida State

FLORIDA (-31) over Vanderbilt

CHIEFS (-7) over Raiders 

DOLPHINS (-2.5) over Broncos

BROWNS (-3) over Eagles

JFK COIN’S TOP FLIPS 

NEW YORK JETS (+9.5) over Los Angeles Chargers

Speaking of Jets and New York, had I lived long enough to use it, my go-to line when picking up Pan-Am stewardesses would have been: “Ever been in-and-out of JFK? Oh, you have? That’s strange, because JFK’s never been in-and-out of you…yet.” 

PENN STATE (+2.5) over Iowa  

No jokes. Just please win.

OHIO STATE (-20) over Indiana

Ever notice how Indiana coach Tom Allen sort of looks like Fire Marshall Bill from In Living Color? And before you ask, yes, we get 1990s FOX in the afterlife.  

Rest of JFK Coin’s selections:

SYRACUSE (+18.5) over Louisville (Friday)

UCLA (+17) over Oregon

GEORGIA (-25) over Mississippi State  

BRONCOS (+2.5) over Dolphins

PACKERS (+1.5) over Colts

CHIEFS (-7) over Raiders

TEXANS (+2) over Patriots

 BONUS: Teebs’ Pandemic Pick of the Week

COVID (-19) over College Football

This ticket should cash by mid-December at the latest. No way this season continues. So that’s the pick COVID -19 over college football by December 15. There you have it. And, as always, Consider It Sucked!