Comedian vs. The Coin: Big Ten Week 4

Editor’s Note: Each Week During the Football Season Stand-Up Comedian and Co-Host of the Punch Drunk Sports Podcast, Jayson Thibault, picks games against the flips of a John F. Kennedy Half-Dollar. 

The Contestants

Jayson Thibault is a stand-up comedian and original member of the Punch Drunk Sports Podcast along with Air Shaffir and Sam Tripoli.  On Nov. 27, Thibault will be recording his new comedy album, “Covidiot” during his performance at The Market Lounge & Comedy Club in Valparaiso, Indiana.  FTB is without question THE No. 1 Penn State football site in Northwest Indiana, so far all our readers in the area (Brian) be sure to check him out! 

The JFK Half-Dollar Coin was first minted in 1964. This particular 50-cent piece we’re flipping has been in the cup holder of a 2015 Toyota Camry for some time and is a tad sticky. If it picks winners, we’re not going to wash it. If it doesn’t, we’re spending it.   

The Format

Thibault picks 10 games against the spread. The JFK Coin picks 10 games against the spread via flip (Heads = Favorite. Tails = Underdog.) Simple.

STANDINGS

TEEBS’ FREE MONEY WINNERS

INDIANA (-7.5) over Michigan State

I’ve been betting against Indiana all season long. You can’t fool a fool three times; it creates a double negative. I’m (finally) convinced Indiana is good. 

BOSTON COLLEGE (+13.5) over Clemson

Catholics and hangovers go together like Oreos and milk. So I think Notre Dame will win the game, but expect the Irish to be hung over from the Clemson win. How can they not be?!? Double overtime. 11,000 students ignore the pandemic and charge the field. There are only 9,000 students attending Notre Dame. So how the hell did this happen? Didn’t those EXACT students try to get that grand wizard guy of Notre Dame fired for not wearing a mask around Donald Trump? And then they form a Third Wave and charge the field hugging and kissing, celebrating a Trevor Lawrence-less victory? I’m taking the other Catholics, BC, and the points.

WASHINGTON FOOTBALL TEAM (+4.5) over Detroit Lions   

22 years ago tomorrow, Alex Smith broke his leg. Alex Smith is the only person still playing in the NFL who used to watch ALF after school. No way I’m not rooting for him. Plus, what did ALF eat? Cats. Therefore, fading the Lions makes too much sense here. 

Rest of Teebs’ Selections:

USC (-13.5) over Arizona

FLORIDA (-17.5) over Arkansas

BAYLOR (+1.5) over Texas Tech

CHARGERS (+2.5) over Dolphins 

PACKERS (-12.5) over Jaguars

PANTHERS (+5) over Buccaneers

RAVENS (-7) over Patriots

JFK COIN’S TOP FLIPS 

MINNESOTA (+3.5) over Iowa (Friday)

Winner here gets a bronze trophy of a pig named Floyd. Speaking of pigs, sure wish I had Minnesota coach PJ Fleck ROWING THE BOAT instead of those Cuban Exiles back in 1961. 

TULANE (-4.5) over Army  

I’ve made more passes at social mixers and State Dinners than Army’s offense has this entire season. Green Wave > Blue Wave > Red Wave.

DETROIT LIONS (-4.5) over Washington Football Team

Too many skeletons in my closet for me to mess around and get on Kelly Stafford’s sh*tlist. Go Lions!

Rest of JFK Coin’s selections:

WISCONSIN (-4.5) over Michigan

PURDUE (+3) over Northwestern

OREGON (-10) over Washington State  

BROWNS (-3) over Texans

GIANTS (+3.5) over Eagles

CHARGERS (+2.5) over Dolphins

RAMS (-1.5) over Seahawks

BONUS: Teebs’ Pandemic Parlay of the Week

OREGON (-10) over Washington State

OREGON STATE (+12.5) over Washington

Oregon is at Washington State. Oregon State is at Washington. It’s not very often you can parlay a tongue twister. Consider it sucked!