Comedian vs. The Coin: Big Ten Week 3

Editor’s Note: Each Week During the Football Season Stand-Up Comedian and Co-Host of the Punch Drunk Sports Podcast, Jayson Thibault, picks games against the flips of a John F. Kennedy Half-Dollar. 

The Contestants

Jayson Thibault is a stand-up comedian and original member of the Punch Drunk Sports Podcast along with Air Shaffir and Sam Tripoli.  On Nov. 27, Thibault will be recording his new comedy album, “Covidiot” during his performance at The Market Lounge & Comedy Club in Valparaiso, Indiana.  FTB is without question THE No. 1 Penn State football site in Northwest Indiana, so far all our readers in the area (Brian) be sure to check him out! 

The JFK Half-Dollar Coin was first minted in 1964. This particular 50-cent piece we’re flipping has been in the cup holder of a 2015 Toyota Camry for some time and is a tad sticky. If it picks winners, we’re not going to wash it. If it doesn’t, we’re spending it.   

The Format

Thibault picks 10 games against the spread. The JFK Coin picks 10 games against the spread via flip (Heads = Favorite. Tails = Underdog.) Simple.

STANDINGS

TEEBS’ FREE MONEY WINNERS

Here are three picks where I go a little more in-depth. Disclaimer: I am NOT a smart man. 

MICHIGAN (-3) over Indiana

A fantastic college basketball game if this was the late fall of 1990, a simpler time when the only global pandemic was the movie “Home Alone.” However, this is football, and Michigan is better than its ranking.  And conversely, Indiana is worse than its ranking. Michigan by 13. 

NOTRE DAME (+5.5) over Clemson

Could be the college game of the year…Part 1 of 2. Primetime television Saturday night. Luck of the Irish prevails thanks to a four-leaf COVID that bites Clemson without its star quarterback. This is foreshadowing  cuzzzz….

…I’m also taking the MINNESOTA VIKINGS (-4) over the Detroit Lions. No Matthew Stafford as COVID bites the Lions without its star-ish quarterback.  

Rest of Teebs’ Selections:

TEXAS (-7) over West Virginia

NORTH CAROLINA (-10) over Duke

USC (-10.5) over Arizona State

RAVENS (-3) over Colts

BILLS (+2.5) over Seahawks

FALCONS (-4) over Broncos

TEXANS (-6.5) over Jaguars

JFK COIN’S TOP FLIPS 

ARIZONA STATE (+10.5) over USC  

Kickoff is 9 a.m. local time in Los Angeles, and I’ve never had much use for Trojans in the morning. Same goes for the afternoon, the evening, anytime, really. Might as well take a shower in a raincoat. Expect Herm’s boys to, as he says, “Leave it on the Grass…y Knoll.” 

MICHIGAN (-3) over Indiana 

Wanna know what we call a man who shows up to Hyannis Port in khaki pants? Two things: Lost or The Help.  

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (-7.5) over New York Jets (Monday)

In a speech, I famously once said, “Those who dare to fail miserably can achieve greatly.” Apparently, Jets coach Adam Gase didn’t stick around to hear the second half of my sentence. 

Rest of JFK Coin’s selections:

UCLA (-6.5) over Colorado

LIBERTY (+15) over Va. Tech

PENN STATE (-24.5) over Maryland  

TEXANS (-6.5) over Jaguars

BILLS (+2.5) over Seahawks

CHARGERS (pk) over Raiders

CARDINALS (-5) over Dolphins

BONUS: Teebs’ Pandemic Parlay of the Week

• Take the Under on the Purdue/Wisconsin game. Call it a hunch. I just have a feeling the game is coming in Under…The Weather. 
• Take the Over on how high I plan to stay until this election insanity is finished. The bar is set at SUPER DUPER and I’ve been clearing that threshold easily and don’t expect to let up, even in garbage time (which is all the time around these parts). So yeah, OVER Super Duper Stoned. 
• Finally, hammer the Under on how many birthday wishes I get this weekend. Not because I don’t have any friends. That’s just a coincidence. Take the Under because this weekend isn’t my birthday.