Sponsor: Whether tailgating in Happy Valley or watching the action at home, take your Saturday spread to the next level with Sauces, BBQ Dry Rubs and Bloody Mary Mix from the 409 Tailgate Club. Visit 409’s Online Store HERE.

• Well, this is the risk you knowingly take when you construct a beautiful sand castle so close to the edge of the beach during high tide. In the blink of an eye, it can all violently wash away. Penn State’s inability to land a competent backup in the Transfer Portal, (or its misguided assessment of its current quarterback situation beyond Sean Clifford) meant the 2021 season would always be a heartbeat away – or in this case, a wrapped right shoulder away – from flatlining.

• Granted, Ta’Quan Roberson was dropped into an unenviable scenario – on the road, at Kinnick, facing a desperate crowd searching for any reason to use (and likely by now, lose) its collective voice. In the Big Ten, that’s pretty much the deepest of deep ends…but, good lord, Roberson did NOT look prepared for the moment. Took about 4 seconds to figure that out after the third-year, former 4-star belly-flopped on a bobbled snap. From there, Roberson piecemealed together a clunky 3^rd Quarter scoring drive full of Sandlot scrambles and dump offs. Sure, those 3 points upped the Nittany Lions’ lead to 20-10 but they also revealed to Iowa DC Phil Parker that this hobbled offense was no longer a threat to do anything downfield or capable of completing levels concepts (like Clifford did repeatedly in the first half) that put Iowa’s zone defenders in damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don’t conflict scenarios.

Continue reading

October 14, 2000: Prior to this Weekend, that Date Marked the Last Time Indiana Football was Shutout AND the Last Time Someone Actually Bought a ‘Zero’ Candy Bar – the RC Cola of Desserts

Sponsor: Hey, it’s us! For The Blogy! Join our 2021 FTB Donors Club – the best way for you to show your support and keep this train rolling – and receive an exclusive FTB zipper bottle Koozie as a gift! Sign up HERE.

*Please remember to click the ‘Share My Address With For The Blogy’ box when checking out so we know where to mail your gift!

Here we stand, a shepherd without a flock, a non-objectionable 16^th century European explorer (if there are any left) without a map, a yappy social media influencer without a WiFi signal holding an off-market energy drink that tastes like battery acid chased by the melted droplets found at the bottom of a Fla-Vor-Ice.

In other words, we are lost.

Twelve months ago, our unprofessional, unreliable and definitely unprofitable media empire arose from a firm foundation of snark and sarcasm fueled by the early-season ineptitude of Brent Pry’s 2020 Penn State defense. Missed tackles. Blown assignments. Communication issues. Lack of gap integrity. Jayson O-sacks-weh. Lamont Wade in coverage.

God, it was glorious…a bottomless reservoir of maladroitness (August 28^th on my Word of The Day desk calendar) that quenched our thirst to be a condescending jerk in print – an act that will never grow tiresome (cough).

But now…well, now there’s nothing to point and laugh at.

Continue reading

Sometimes on the first tee, you’ll get paired up with a single, and after a few holes it’s still hard to get a read on whether he’s a player or not. He’s tall, fit, and has a nice-looking swing, but he seems to spend almost as much time in the woods as on the fairway. He’ll drop a 25-footer for birdie on one hole and then three-putt from 10 feet on the next. At the end of the round, you’re not sure if he shot 78 or 88, but either way you’re left feeling that it should have been lower.

Five games into the season, we pretty much know what the Penn State defense is — a swarming, confident, ball-hawking bunch that stacks three-and-outs like James Franklin stacks 1-0s in a tweet (five more on Saturday). The special teams have been solid if unspectacular, with the occasional field-goal block or Jordan Stout 50-yard bomb thrown in here and there.

The offense? Lots of birdies, even an eagle or two. But even with arguably the best receiver in college football on the field, this group can’t seem to string a full 18 holes — err, four quarters — together. The Nittany Lions’ 24-0 victory in Beaver Stadium was mostly a slog of bogeys interspersed with the usual Jahan Dotson SportsCenter highlights and some nifty footwork from Sean Clifford.

Continue reading

 Judging From What Was Said Right After Penn State’s Never-In-Doubt 38-17 Rubber-Stamp Performance vs. Villanova, Good is Now the Enemy of Great as the Nittany Lions Offense Seeks Balance

Sponsor: Hey, it’s us! For The Blogy! Join our 2021 FTB Donors Club – the best way for you to show your support and keep this train rolling – and receive an exclusive FTB zipper bottle Koozie as a gift! Sign up HERE.

*Please remember to click the ‘Share My Address With For The Blogy’ box when checking out so we know where to mail your gift!

FTB CHARTING    BOX SCORE

Burned through all our leaf blower material already. Therefore, executive decision: Pithy intros are reserved for FBS opponents.

Let’s get to it.

Formations

The week-to-week evolution of Mike Yurcich’s offense sort of resembles that famous 1965 Rudolph Zallinger ‘March of Progress’ illustration, you know the one where the monkey gradually morphs into early man…but in reverse.

On Saturday, the same modern mind that flung the ball all over the field, challenged refs’ cardiorespiratory capacity with his Meep-Meep tempo, and reduced tough-guy defenders to nothing more than a bunch of injury-faking thespians four years ago at Oklahoma State lined up in what Wikipedia calls “the oldest formation in American football” – the T formation, invented in 1882 by Walter Camp and revived 50 years later thanks to a revolutionary, game-changing innovation…the introduction of the hand-to-hand center-quarterback snap.

Continue reading

I’ve always hated the “If you take away these (insert number) big plays, the offense only has (insert more paltry number) total yards” trope. I understand that it is often used to point out a lack of consistency. But it also diminishes the execution and the value of those big plays. If 100 yards come in 10 plays of 10 or one play of 70 and nine plays that total 30 … it’s still 100 yards, right?

The goal Penn State’s offense sets each week, after all, is to pile up those chunk plays, as the Nittany Lions did in Saturday’s 38-17 win over Villanova. The hosts had four plays of more than 50 yards, which is what you would expect against an FCS opponent but also rarely ever happens because, well, damn.

So (close your eyes and hold your nose) take away those four plays (all of which would have gone for more yards had not it been for that pesky end zone), which accounted for 254 total yards, and Penn State had 255 total yards on its other 61 plays, with only 80 of those yards coming on the ground.

Continue reading

Sponsor: Whether tailgating in Happy Valley or watching the action at home, take your Saturday spread to the next level with Sauces, BBQ Dry Rubs and Bloody Mary Mix from the 409 Tailgate Club. Visit 409’s Online Store HERE.

• Stands full of fans vs. Ball State: cathartic. The triumphant return of the Beaver Stadium Whiteout last Saturday: an invigorating revival. But today, when fans ducked out early in the 4^th Quarter moments after Tyler Warren’s plodding touchdown put Penn State up five touchdowns YET still had plenty to bitch about amongst friends back at the tailgate…well, that felt normal.

• Actually, that’s not entirely fair. ‘Plenty’ is a stretch. Sean Clifford threw for 400+ yards – the first Penn State quarterback to do so on this side of the pond (Christian Hackenberg eclipsed the 400-yard mark while navigating the Slip N’ Slide Croke Park turf in Ireland seven years ago). Jahan Dotson was Jahan Dotson. Parker Washington flashed the type of big-play ability that had been MIA (from him, we’re saying) through three weeks. And Penn State’s two-deep defense shut down an inferior opponent. Overall, Penn State did more good than bad during this schedule-filling, revenue generator masquerading as a competitive athletic contest. It’s just that the bad was really, really, really BAD.

Continue reading

Just Like the Guy Controlling the Between-Play Beaver Stadium Music, Penn State’s Passing Attack Didn’t Let Up in a 28-20 Whiteout Win vs. Auburn

Sponsor: Hey, it’s us! For The Blogy! Join our 2021 FTB Donors Club – the best way for you to show your support and keep this train rolling – and receive an exclusive FTB zipper bottle Koozie as a gift! Sign up HERE.

*Please remember to click the ‘Share My Address With For The Blogy’ box when checking out so we know where to mail your gift!

FTB CHARTING    BOX SCORE

Accountability is just a click away.

Scroll three-quarters of a digital page down the Penn State-Auburn box score released by the Sports Information Department. Don’t whine. The link is right above this paragraph. Go ahead. We’ll wait.

OK, Nooooow….stop! There! Right there: the names of every member of The Malignant Seven – better known as James Carter’s SEC officiating crew that absolutely bungled an otherwise perfect night of college football. Referee. Line Judge. Side Judge. Umpire. Back Judge. Linesman. Field Judge. They’re all listed…

…except the replay official.

Continue reading

This was big-boy football.

Auburn’s first visit to Beaver Stadium resulted in the sort of back-and-forth, big-swinging bout between two historical college football brutes that made you wonder what the hell it had taken so long to get these two teams together in the regular season. It was a game that came down to the final play but it felt like it would pretty much the whole night, didn’t it?

For all the spectacle the White Out games have delivered during the past two decades, the quality of football and the intrigue of the game script have only rarely matched the atmosphere. Both did on this night, even if the quality of the officiating left you pining for the orderly days of John O’Neill.

We learned a few things about the Nittany Lions during each of the first two weeks and a few more this week. Jahan Dotson applied a few more layers of cement to an already impressive legacy. Noah Cain was quietly brilliant. Joey Porter Jr. and Jaquan Brisker patrolled the secondary with the physicality of linebackers. Even the tight ends showed up! And Sean Clifford served up plenty of dimes and an extra helping of crow for his critics.

Continue reading

In a Beautifully Boring 44-13 Blowout of Ball State, Penn State’s Offense Kept Plenty of Rabbits Tucked Inside Their Hats for Saturday’s Showdown on College Football’s Grandest Stage

Sponsor: Hey, it’s us! For The Blogy! Join our 2021 FTB Donors Club – the best way for you to show your support and keep this train rolling – and receive an exclusive FTB zipper bottle Koozie as a gift! Sign up HERE.

*Please remember to click the ‘Share My Address With For The Blogy’ box when checking out so we know where to mail your gift!

Wait, that’s it?

THAT’s the dreaded, painful learning curve required to master Mike Yurcich’s high-octane, bombs-away offense — 30 ugly, scoreless minutes in Madison?

You sure? Because when Joe Moorhead piloted this ship back in 2016, it took a good five or six weeks – sans the second-half comeback that wasn’t at Pitt — for the offense to sail straight and find the proper course.

And then last year…actually let’s not talk about last year. We’ll leave the subtle jabs at Kirk Ciarrocca’s jalopy, 3-wheel Dale offense to salty Sean Clifford.

Continue reading

 You Can’t Go Home Again, But If You Try Sometimes, You’ll Get What You Need

Sponsor: Hey, it’s us! For The Blogy! Join our 2021 FTB Donors Club – the best way for you to show your support and keep this train rolling – and receive an exclusive FTB zipper bottle Koozie as a gift! Sign up HERE.

*Please remember to click the ‘Share My Address With For The Blogy’ box when checking out so we know where to mail your gift!

I will always look back with deepest fondness on Penn State’s 2005 Big Ten Championship season as a reclamation of something we perhaps all took for granted, coming, as it did, so unexpectedly on the heels of four losing seasons in five years that felt at the time like the inglorious end of the Paterno era. One personal memory from that fall, which has stuck with me for over 15 years, came during the afternoon before the #16 Lions’ legendary home upset of sixth-ranked Ohio State.

As I wandered through the soggy tailgate fields, drinking in the the sights and sounds of celebration undamped by the foggy drizzle, I caught sight of a young man – a student or recent grad, mostly likely – wearing a white hoodie that had clearly been frantically cranked out that week to seize on excitement around the team’s first national ranking in over two years. It bore a message that hit like a thunder clap: The distinctive Nittany Lion logo and, in classic block-collegiate font, “We’re Back.”

That’s it. Simple, beautiful, just like our uniforms. “We’re Back.” I will never forget seeing it, because we were, and we knew it. There was a lot of season left to go, but there was something in the air. It was a statement about the program’s return to national relevance, but also about the people who loved it, neatly summing up where we were physically and psychologically, back in our happy place.

Continue reading