While We Celebrate Barry White Driving the Snakes Out of Springfield By Drinking Cheap Domestic Beer and Playing Irish Folk Music Like House of Pain on Loop, Let’s Examine Instances Where Good Fortune (and Misfortune) Shone Down on Penn State Football
Friends of the Blog know we absolutely SALAVATE when anniversaries/holidays pop up because it gives us an excuse to crank out a list no one asked for.
Oh, it’s Flag Day? Let’s rank the worst penalties ever called against Penn State.
Independence Day? Top moments in program history from 1887 to 1992.
Fungal Disease Awareness Week? Simple. Nittany Lion playmakers with the sickest feet ever.
Well, as your annoying green-clad coworkers might have told you, today is St. Patrick’s Day, so there’s no better time for us to think back and whip up a collection of Lucky and Unlucky plays from Penn State’s recent past. Our simple criteria: Lucky plays had to occur during significant Penn State wins and factor heavily in that win (so plays like Chris Godwin’s lucky juggling circus catch in the Rose Bowl didn’t make it). Unlucky plays, the exact opposite — bad breaks that happened during losses…mostly (we made an exception at the end).
After you read, let us know what plays we missed in the comments section or on our Twitter @fortheblogy. Heck, we might do this again next year.
Our Counter to the Ridiculous Hype and Conjecture of National Signing Day, We ‘Wished Upon a 3-Star’ and Assembled a Squad of Penn State Players That Outperformed Their Modest Recruiting Profile.
Note: For those who missed our All-3-Star and Under Offense unveiling, click HERE.
Concept: Fair warning to all you ‘Star Chasers’ who spend mid-December and early-February decoding emoji-laced social media messages from blue-chip prep prospects…this article isn’t for you. No, this two-part series — Penn State’s All-3 Star and Under Team – is sweet nectar for the Eye Rollers and Cloud Yellers out there who scoff at Carrot Top-inspired, prop-filled televised announcement ceremonies and the exalted status bestowed upon kids who won’t step on a college football field for seven months AT THE EARLIEST. Yes, the players on this team are the exception not the rule, but their careers do remind us that none of us truly know what the heck’s in store for signees once they hit Happy Valley.
Criteria: Candidates had to be rated a 3-Star prospect or less by ONE – not all – of the major recruiting services (Scout, Rivals, 247). Because these databases only go back to 2001 this is a 21st Century Team by default, so don’t blow us up wondering why we left 1950s unheralded Ampipe High linebacker Sergei “Soot Lung” Mesarzos off the list. Your whining is just gonna get lost among the sea of boner-pill-slinging bots encamped in our comments section, anyway. So give us and your angry fingers a break.
Special consideration was given to 2-Star, 1-Star and Walk-on prospects whose Penn State football resumes compared similarly to that of a 3-Star prospect. No consideration was given to what these guys did/are doing in the NFL. Like most All-American/All-Conference teams, we went 1 QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, 1 TE, 5 OL (no specific position) on offense and 2 DE, 2 DT, 3 LB, 2 CB, 2 S on defense.
The Starting Defense:
Our Counter to the Ridiculous Hype and Conjecture of National Signing Day, We ‘Wished Upon a 3-Star’ and Assembled a Squad of Penn State Players That Outperformed Their Modest Recruiting Profile
Concept: Fair warning to all you ‘Star Chasers’ who spend mid-December and early-February decoding emoji-laced social media messages from blue-chip prep prospects…this article isn’t for you. No, this two-part series — Penn State’s All-3 Star and Under Team – is sweet nectar for the Eye Rollers and Cloud Yellers out there who scoff at Carrot Top-inspired, prop-filled televised announcement ceremonies and the exalted status bestowed upon kids who won’t step on a college football field for seven months AT THE EARLIEST. Yes, the players on this team are the exception not the rule, but their careers do remind us that none of us truly know what the heck’s in store for signees once they hit Happy Valley.
Criteria: Candidates had to be rated a 3-Star prospect or less by ONE – not all – of the major recruiting services (Scout, Rivals, 247). Because these databases only go back to 2001 this is a 21st Century Team by default, so don’t blow us up wondering why we left 1950s unheralded Ampipe High linebacker Sergei “Soot Lung” Mesarzos off the list. Your whining is just gonna get lost among the sea of boner-pill-slinging bots encamped in our comments section, anyway. So give us and your angry fingers a break.
Special consideration was given to 2-Star, 1-Star and Walk-on prospects whose Penn State football resumes compared similarly to that of a 3-Star prospect. No consideration was given to what these guys did/are doing in the NFL. Like most All-American/All-Conference teams, we went 1 QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, 1 TE, 5 OL (no specific position) on offense and 2 DE, 2 DT, 3 LB, 2 CB, 2 S on defense.
The Starting Offense:
As The Usual Suspects Once Again Play For All The Tostitos, We Present an Alternative Postseason Plan and Answer All Naysayers Before They Can Open Their Mouths
Sure, we’ll take a stab at this…
Format: 8 Teams. Single-elimination tournament. The existing College Football Playoff Committee will seed the teams…1 vs. 8, 2 vs. 7, etc.
Who’s In?: Conference Champions from the SEC, ACC, Big Ten, Big 12 and Pac-12. One Group of 5/Independent representative – chosen by the committee. Two At-Large bids – chosen by the committee. At-Large teams CANNOT be seeded higher than No. 5.
When: Entire college football calendar gets moved back one week. Conference championship games take place the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Playoff quarterfinals begin two weeks later — second Saturday of December. Semis and National Championship remain Jan. 1 and the second Monday of January.
Editor’s Note: Each Week During the Football Season Stand-Up Comedian and Co-Host of the Punch Drunk Sports Podcast, Jayson Thibault, picks games against the flips of a John F. Kennedy Half-Dollar.
Jayson Thibault is a stand-up comedian and original member of the Punch Drunk Sports Podcast along with Ari Shaffir and Sam Tripoli.
The JFK Half-Dollar Coin was first minted in 1964. This particular 50-cent piece we’re flipping has been in the cup holder of a 2015 Toyota Camry for some time and is a tad sticky. If it picks winners, we’re not going to wash it. If it doesn’t, we’re spending it.