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• Wanna know the sickest aspect of this loss tonight? No? Well, too bad. The sickest aspect of this loss tonight is that it’s the type of “Well, if we gotta lose one” setback we all would have killllled for three weeks ago – a close, hard-fought setback worthy of CFP debate had Penn State finished the season at 11-1. (Inset Aunt/Uncle anatomy retort here).

• No moral victories. Not at Penn State. That’s Rutgers stuff. BUUUUUT…the team backed up all the preseason flowery talk of chemistry and closeness with their effort tonight. With nothing but pride on the line, they showed up. In 2020, the dam bursts and Penn State drowns at 17-7 and 27-17. So Yay!

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Sponsor: Whether tailgating in Happy Valley or watching the action at home, take your Saturday spread to the next level with Sauces, BBQ Dry Rubs and Bloody Mary Mix from the 409 Tailgate Club. Visit 409’s Online Store HERE.

• Kudos to Arby’s clairvoyant in-house marketing team for landing the title sponsor spot on ABC’s Penn State-Illinois broadcast. Great choice. In fact, I’d say the decision makers in horsey sauce-stained suits couldn’t have picked a more “on-brand” game to advertise on. I mean, this contest WAS Arby’s — soggy, repulsive, depressing, nauseating, disappointing, and really, really, really tough to swallow.

• (Deep breath) Where to even begin…

…guess we’ll dish out credit where credit is due: swollen Illinois HC Bret Bielema authored an masterful run-blocking opus today using an unwanted collection of 300-pounders that he verbally eviscerated five days earlier. The Illini somehow managed to rack up 357 yards on the ground despite posing zero threat through the air. In several standard down situations, Illinois lined up 7 O-linemen, 2 tight ends, 0 wide receivers, and just Red Rover’d right through the unprepared Penn State defense, thus validating every slow-footed Big Ten stereotype your co-worker from Chattanooga or brother-in-law from Houston has ever spouted at you.

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Sponsor: Whether tailgating in Happy Valley or watching the action at home, take your Saturday spread to the next level with Sauces, BBQ Dry Rubs and Bloody Mary Mix from the 409 Tailgate Club. Visit 409’s Online Store HERE.

• Well, this is the risk you knowingly take when you construct a beautiful sand castle so close to the edge of the beach during high tide. In the blink of an eye, it can all violently wash away. Penn State’s inability to land a competent backup in the Transfer Portal, (or its misguided assessment of its current quarterback situation beyond Sean Clifford) meant the 2021 season would always be a heartbeat away – or in this case, a wrapped right shoulder away – from flatlining.

• Granted, Ta’Quan Roberson was dropped into an unenviable scenario – on the road, at Kinnick, facing a desperate crowd searching for any reason to use (and likely by now, lose) its collective voice. In the Big Ten, that’s pretty much the deepest of deep ends…but, good lord, Roberson did NOT look prepared for the moment. Took about 4 seconds to figure that out after the third-year, former 4-star belly-flopped on a bobbled snap. From there, Roberson piecemealed together a clunky 3^rd Quarter scoring drive full of Sandlot scrambles and dump offs. Sure, those 3 points upped the Nittany Lions’ lead to 20-10 but they also revealed to Iowa DC Phil Parker that this hobbled offense was no longer a threat to do anything downfield or capable of completing levels concepts (like Clifford did repeatedly in the first half) that put Iowa’s zone defenders in damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don’t conflict scenarios.

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