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• Prior to tonight, the last time Minnesota backup QB/full bag of Scrabble tiles Athan Kaliakmanis started a football game, THIS was the setting:

Needless to say, to steal a phrase from former Penn State defensive tackle and Friend of the Blog Brandon Noble, THIS (below) was an entirely different animal.

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Sponsor: Whether tailgating in Happy Valley or watching the action at home, take your Saturday spread to the next level with Sauces, BBQ Dry Rubs and Bloody Mary Mix from the 409 Tailgate Club. Visit 409’s Online Store HERE.

Preaching to the choir here, but the Penn State Whiteout is truly a sight to behold – as ABC announcer Chris Fowler said a few years ago, an unmatched display of “monochromatic mayhem.”

For us, the festivities begin well before Saturday and extend through the night as evening turns to morning. Like those 1980s Energizer commercials, the party keeps going and going and going…the only interruption occurring around 7:30 p.m. with a 4-hour, 110-decibel intermission.

Of course, the Whiteout isn’t all fun and games, especially for sticky-fingered, sauce-centric grill guys like us. In fact, our typical tailgate menu is basically kryptonite for pristine Whiteout attire. Sizzle, splatter, spirits and sauce = stains.

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Sponsor: Whether tailgating in Happy Valley or watching the action at home, take your Saturday spread to the next level with Sauces, BBQ Dry Rubs and Bloody Mary Mix from the 409 Tailgate Club. Visit 409’s Online Store HERE.

• Perhaps we’ve reached the ACCEPTANCE stage of grief, because we’re all out of spittle, all out of veins bulging from our angry foreheads, all out of cuss words, all out of pillows to scream into, all out of reasons to let this forever-good/never-“ELITE” program ruin our afternoon. THIS IS PENN STATE FOOTBALL…a cockroach that feasts in the comfortable obscurity of also-ran BTN/ESPN 2 broadcasts, but scatters and disappears when the bright lights flip on. It’s one thing to lose to Michigan on the road. It’s quite another to have Joel Klatt twist the knife by saying, “I don’t know how this game could have been any closer than (41-17)?” That comment stings worse than rubbing alcohol on a knee scrape because it’s 100 percent accurate. For two programs that recruit and sign the same caliber of player, this was Varsity vs. JV, at best.

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From Last Year To This Year, Penn State Has Made Substantial Gains in the Run Game. But Why? What’s Changed? What’s Different?

Sponsor: For The Blogy’s 2022 season coverage is sponsored by FANATICS. Spare the embarrassment of showing up to Beaver Stadium in LAST year’s sweat- & alcohol-stained gear. Grab something fresh from our collection of Penn State jerseys, T-shirts, and more right HERE.

We’ve all heard/read the dreadful numbers, but for the sake of posterity, here they are again: Last year, the Penn State Nittany Lions managed only 107.8 rushing yards/game. That ranked 13th in the 14-team B1G.

This year, the run plays on Mike Yurcich’s laminated card have yielded much better results on the ground. Roughly midway through the season, Penn State sits solidly in the middle of the conference pack in most rushing metrics. “We Are” clipping along with 192.6 rushing yards/game (5th) and — excluding kneel-downs — 5.2 Y/C (t-4th). For reference, even in the Wondrous Saquon Days Penn State never got higher than 6th in the B1G in rushing yards.

So, we pondered, to what do we owe this dramatic turn-around on the ground in 2022?

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Sponsor: FTB’s Donors Club – the most direct way to support our efforts – is back for another year! (Sally Struthers voice) For $9.99 you can feed a starving blogger and get a cool FTB Koozie in return. JOIN HERE.

*Please remember to click the ‘Share My Address With For The Blogy’ box when checking out so we know where to mail your gift!

• Meteorologists will tell you today’s unrelenting rain came from the remnants of Hurricane Ian. Octogenarian Penn State season-ticket holders will tell you it was God crying at the administration’s choice to sell alcohol inside Beaver Stadium.

Enough fun…time to vent:

• Cardholding members of the Clifford Club, please stand down. Don’t you dare scoff at social media posts suggesting that Drew Allar should replace Clifford like you all did last week. Read the room. Because, honestly, the 6^th-year senior who is a just a few months shy of reaching the legal age requirement to run for Congress played like a true freshman, at best, today. Sure, it was wet. It was also wet in East Lansing back in 2019 when Clifford threw for 3 TDs in a convincing win, so the weather can’t be an excuse. It’s asinine to claim anymore, ‘Starting Allar would be giving up on the season.’ Quite the contrary. Keeping Clifford as QB1 would be giving up on the season, lowering the Nittany Lions’ ceiling of success to 10-2 and a worthless NY6 bowl appearance no one gives a flying rip about. Allar’s insertion as QB1 DOES lower the floor for Penn State — 9-3 at worst and a non-NY6 bowl appearance no one gives a flying rip about — but also gives the Nittany Lions a better shot of escaping this upcoming trinity of scheduling pain with 2 wins (hell, maybe 3…dare to dream).

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Sponsor: Whether tailgating in Happy Valley or watching the action at home, take your Saturday spread to the next level with Sauces, BBQ Dry Rubs and Bloody Mary Mix from the 409 Tailgate Club. Visit 409’s Online Store HERE.

You know, we don’t hamstring ourselves with a ton of rules when it comes to grilling, tailgating or life, in general. Our best creations, best ideas, best decisions arise when we color outside the lines a little, guesstimate our measurements, and add a shot of alcohol to pretty much everything.

But there is one ironclad principle from which we never waver. It is our day-to-day culinary compass:

PORK > POTATOES

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