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• Meteorologists will tell you today’s unrelenting rain came from the remnants of Hurricane Ian. Octogenarian Penn State season-ticket holders will tell you it was God crying at the administration’s choice to sell alcohol inside Beaver Stadium.

Enough fun…time to vent:

• Cardholding members of the Clifford Club, please stand down. Don’t you dare scoff at social media posts suggesting that Drew Allar should replace Clifford like you all did last week. Read the room. Because, honestly, the 6^th-year senior who is a just a few months shy of reaching the legal age requirement to run for Congress played like a true freshman, at best, today. Sure, it was wet. It was also wet in East Lansing back in 2019 when Clifford threw for 3 TDs in a convincing win, so the weather can’t be an excuse. It’s asinine to claim anymore, ‘Starting Allar would be giving up on the season.’ Quite the contrary. Keeping Clifford as QB1 would be giving up on the season, lowering the Nittany Lions’ ceiling of success to 10-2 and a worthless NY6 bowl appearance no one gives a flying rip about. Allar’s insertion as QB1 DOES lower the floor for Penn State — 9-3 at worst and a non-NY6 bowl appearance no one gives a flying rip about — but also gives the Nittany Lions a better shot of escaping this upcoming trinity of scheduling pain with 2 wins (hell, maybe 3…dare to dream).

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You know, we don’t hamstring ourselves with a ton of rules when it comes to grilling, tailgating or life, in general. Our best creations, best ideas, best decisions arise when we color outside the lines a little, guesstimate our measurements, and add a shot of alcohol to pretty much everything.

But there is one ironclad principle from which we never waver. It is our day-to-day culinary compass:

PORK > POTATOES

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• Man, beer sales at Beaver Stadium can’t start soon enough, eh?

• In all seriousness…Saturday can’t always be a symphony. Sometimes, like today, it’s a middle school recital. Jagged. Discordant. Off key. Off note. Rough on the senses. Enjoyable to no one besides the parents of the participants. And that’s OK. After surviving Week 1 on the road, and then shellacking an SEC foe on the road in Week 3, a 60-minute sleepwalk through a meddlesome MAC contender and its shark-loving coach shouldn’t have been a shocker to anybody. So, while the message board Chicken Littles on Rivals, 247 and On3 point to the sky, jaws agape, we’ll try our best to keep things in perspective: Penn State won by 3 TDs, won the turnover battle 4-0, and other than slight discomfort shown by 44-Tyler Warren late and the mysterious disappearance of 64-Hunter Nourzad, the Nittany Lions escaped this chore of a contest fairly healthy: mission accomplished.

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Sponsor: Whether tailgating in Happy Valley or watching the action at home, take your Saturday spread to the next level with Sauces, BBQ Dry Rubs and Bloody Mary Mix from the 409 Tailgate Club. Visit 409’s Online Store HERE.

How’s that saying go? The best-laid plans of mice and something-or-other? Sorry, even though our typical blog posts are longer than a CVS receipt and wordy as all get-out, we’re not big readers.

Anyway, earlier this summer, Penn State brass formally announced their plans to conduct an in-game alcohol sales “trial run” at Beaver Stadium for the Central Michigan game this Saturday – a long-overdue decision that delighted everybody except the fat cats at BIG FLASK.

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Sponsor: Whether tailgating in Happy Valley or watching the action at home, take your Saturday spread to the next level with Sauces, BBQ Dry Rubs and Bloody Mary Mix from the 409 Tailgate Club. Visit 409’s Online Store HERE.

• Hang Manny Diaz’s gameplan in the freakin’ Lourve, Frenchie. Move over, Mona. Later, Leonardo. Behold you Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkeys (Groundskeeper Willie’s words, not ours). Make room for this masterpiece and stick it behind a few strands of velvet rope for safety. When all the damage was done, and all the Van Heusen-clad, three-named, thick-banged Southern Dandy students had filed out of Jordan-Hare, Penn State snuck out of The Plains with 4 takeaways, 6 sacks, 11 TFLs, all while grounding Auburn’s mauling run game to an unremarkable 3.3 yards per carry. Beyond the stats, Penn State’s D dominated in the trenches, clamped down at the second and third levels of the defense, and was in such total control that all James Franklin had to do on offense was not screw things up.

• The nonsensical 4^th Quarter ramblings of CBS color analyst Gary Danielson offered us the perfect mental off-ramp from the game…or what was left of it. It also got us thinking: What’s the best historical parallel for this game? Note: Please don’t go all Mother Dunn on us, Mortimer, OK? According to Vegas, this was a slightly-weighted coinflip that Penn State turned into an entertaining clown show for those wearing white and a complete waste of a sunny afternoon for those wearing orange. Not sure Michigan 2017 fits in this bucket considering Penn State entered as a 8 -to 9-point favorite. The ONE game that does compare (in our eyes, anyway) is Wisconsin 2008….road game, big-time opponent, thorough behind-whooping. 1999 Arizona works, too. Any others come to mind?

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Sponsor: Whether tailgating in Happy Valley or watching the action at home, take your Saturday spread to the next level with Sauces, BBQ Dry Rubs and Bloody Mary Mix from the 409 Tailgate Club. Visit 409’s Online Store HERE.

• Throughout the offseason, we paid tribute to the infamous, ludicrous, incredibly loose-jowled Beano Cook/Ron Powlus 2 Heisman prediction from 1993 by applying the same lofty expectations any time we mentioned 5-star PSU true freshman Drew Allar in a video, blog post, tweet, Facebook comment, etc…you know, to be funny. Turns out – according to the tents pitched on Penn State twitter around 2:30 pm EST today — we set the bar WAAAAAY too low with our Beano homage.

• In all seriousness, the quantum leap Allar has taken in 5 months – from shaky, raw, multiple-red-flags rookie in the Blue-White Game to the surprisingly poised, surprisingly in-command , surprisingly advanced thrower we’ve seen in limited snaps vs. Purdue and now Ohio – is a credit to not only the work Allar put in during the summer months, but a credit to Mike Yurcich’s ability to mold talented lumps of clay.

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