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Welp, the highly-anticipated season finale and last unchecked NY6 bowl win “box” on Penn State’s program checklist was a tough watch. No way around it. Season-long themes remained true: out of sync, stagnancy that produced little to no explosive offense. It’s also worth noting that PSU was missing some of their top players.  Negatives aside, let’s take a look at one of, if not the only, exciting offensive play of the afternoon.

Fun.

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“You can’t really know where you are going until you know where you have been. – Maya Angelou.”

 –James Franklin, possibly*

Starting tomorrow until some random late May 2024 afternoon when those antiquated college football preview magazines hit the shelves at what’s left of Barnes & Noble Booksellers (just a stack of Star Trek Funko Pops and a scattering of road atlases last time I checked), we’ll be Quasimodo-ing it in our depressing 1-bedroom  apartments, sifting through film after film after film and marveling over the magnificent schematic sandcastles new Penn State OC Andy Kotelnicki molded during his days at Kansas and Buffalo.

But, for now, let’s take one last glimpse at the moist, amorphous pile of washed-away dirt left on the shoreline that was the 2023 Penn State offense…if, for no other reason, to identify which specific offensive concepts Kotelnicki needs to lug his shovel and pale to and patch up first.

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Best for last, right? Penn State’s regular-season finale included explosive runs, explosive passes, and jussssst enough competency on offense for the fanbase rightly laud the substitute-teaching job conducted by Co-OC’s Ja’Juan Seider and Ty Howle. Heck, a few brazen message board warriors pounded their dust/crumb infested keyboards asking for Penn State head coach James Franklin to consider an internal promotion of Seider or Howle (or both…because we still aren’t sure who was actually calling the plays).

Not to be all Debbie Downer, but for what it’s worth, every concept PSU ran this past Saturday Friday had been called dozens of times during the  mostly-forgettable Mike Yurcich era.

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Penn State’s newly-elevated play-calling Orthrus wasted no time putting the Scarlet Knights on notice that they’d have to respect Beau Pribula as a runner.

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The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Despite our unrealistic hopes and dreams, Coach Seider and Coach Howle’s first career game as co-playcallers, the offense was kept pretty vanilla. Bummer.

Although a lot of us hoped they would reinvent the wheel in their 6 days as interim lever-pullers of the Nittany Lion offense, the risk of coloring too outside the lines against an inferior opponent and jeopardizing Penn State’s shot at a NY6 by playing too fast and loose far outweighed the reward of showing potential employers how cute and clever they can be when picking plays off a laminated sheet.

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Umm…so…yeah.

A lot has transpired in the PSU football world since the Nittany Lions 9-point loss to Michigan on Saturday. For those of you residing the path of a massive windstorm/tsunami/blizzard/bomb cyclone that knocked out power for the past 36 hours, Penn State now has a vacancy at offensive coordinator after Coach James Franklin made the executive decision to part ways with Mike Yurcich.

Having studied Yurcich’s offense for years now, going as far as charting every play from last season, I can conclude that he is a very bright offensive mind and will better whatever program hires him next. However, I’d advise Yurcich to leave Saturday’s “performance” vs. Michigan off his resume when he fires up the copiers at Kinko’s in the near future.

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When it comes to ‘creativity’ in football, beauty isn’t in the eye of the beholder but rather in the end result of the trick play

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You know, creativity is a funny thing.

As an offensive coordinator when it “works” but doesn’t (See: KeAndre Lambert-Smith’s perfecetly-schemed 2^nd quarter incompletion on Saturday) you’re an overpaid doofus in the Cro-Magnon minds of a frothing, irascible (Word of the Day calendar entry: December 14, 2021) fanbase.

But when the rabbit you pull from your team-issued ballcap “doesn’t work” yet somehow bunny hops along a twisted, unintended, round-about route and serendipitously (April 24, 2019)  winds up at the desired destination – thanks to your QB’s quick-thinking, spot-on Steve Nash impersonation — you’re  suddenlythe bearded belle of the ball worthy of ALL the Twitter/X flowers, adoration, gold-star stickers, and get first pick from the toy box during indoor recess!

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Hallelujah! An explosive play! For the win!

For our formerly comatose readers who just woke up, first of all, welcome back. Second, here’s what you missed: The biggest concern/gripe with the Nittany Lions offense through the first half of the 2023 season has been the unexpected Dust Bowl drought when it comes to explosive, chunk plays – both through the air and on the ground.

As Coach Franklin confirmed in his most-recent postgame presser, the Lions try to call 8-12 “shot plays” a game. Mishaps in pass protection, lack of separation down the field, mild lack of aggression by the QB, and good opposing coverage are all contributing reasons to why they have not been successful in this department.

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While it’s impossible to place the entire blame for Saturday’s kick-in-the-shins performance against Ohio State on one person or thing, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to say that a better 3^rd-down showing (like even a D+ showing) might have made the difference in a one-score game. In situations that required a singular yard, specifically, the Nittany Lions repeatedly shot themselves in the foot with a mix of mental and physical errors.

Tomorrow, Coach Codutti will cycle through all 16 Penn State 3^rd-down scenarios in his weekly Film Study, but since we’re gluttons for pain, here’s a small taste before the main course arrives late Monday night.

Sigh

Hold your nose. Here we go.

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Ladies and gentlemen, our long regional nightmare is over. Penn State tight end Theo Johnson finally got in the endzone for the first (and second!) time in 2023. Strike up the band! Plan the parade! Mint the commemorative coins!

In all seriousness, after spending the first half of the season doing dirty work in the trenches and getting unlucky in substitution patterns that have given his counterpart, Tyler Warren, some cupcake TDs, it was nice to see the senior captain from Canada cross the goal line – and, more importantly, haul-in a deep, downfield target.

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While the Penn State defensive coordinator’s ‘line games’ often appear like a jumbled, nonsensical mess, there’s actually a method behind the madness. 

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Defensive statistical accolades roll call (trumpet sounds):

Through the first quarter of the 2023 season, Manny Diaz’s Penn State defense stands tall at No. 1 in total defense.

The Lions also rank No.1 in the FBS in passing yards allowed.

More? OK, more: Penn State is No. 3 nationally in sacks per game, No. 3 in defensive EPA, No. 1 in passing dropback EPA, No. 2 in scoring defense, No. 11 in Red Zone defense, No. 2 in first downs allowed per game, No. 14 in third down conversions per game, No. 5 in opponent time of possession, No. 1 in yards per play allowed…

(pauses for a sip of water)

 …No. 6 in opponent punts per play, No. 15 in tackles for loss per game, No. 8 in third-down conversion percentage, No. 10 in takeaways, No. 4 in rush yards allowed per game, No. 7 in opponent completion percentage.

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