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Introduction
Ah, bowl season…
…that magical time of year when we’re once again reminded that Montgomery, Alabama has a tourism bureau (for some reason), Tropical Smoothie Café exists (somewhere), and that middle-aged men shouldn’t wear bright blazers (ever).
It’s the unrivaled pageantry of your body congealing to the contours of your crumb-crusted barcalounger — brain numb, eyeballs dry and red from the lost, hollow hours spent watching mediocre football, sparse crowds, and soulless corporate mascots – wondering why you’ve never taken the wife and kids to Shreveport for a weekend? The guilt of depriving loved ones from experiencing a town with “So Much to Explore!” weighs on your conscience like a lead vest. Sips of warm, domestic beer briefly chase away the pain while Kent State’s walk-on right guard holds four fingers aloft as the third quarter expires. Inexplicably, you hold four fingers up, too.
(Stares into nothingness)
Anyway, like I said, it’s Bowl Season! 42 games! 42 excuses to put off all our adult responsibilities! 42 excuses to gamble!
